The Game is On: The U.S. Presidential Election…What’s Your Vote?
With the U.S. Presidential Election just a few weeks away, do ex-pats in Israel, Israelis and foreigners know which candidate will be better for Israel? For me the best candidate would be the one that said, “Israel we’re just going to stay out of this. No more three-ways, scrappy peace documents, or lame promises–if you vote me for President, I’ll stay the hell out of it and focus on my own country.”
But since that probably is not going to happen, just like a kosher Mexican restaurant popping up in Jerusalem’s city center or a real gym built on EmeK Refaim ain’t gonna happen, my group of kids went to the heart of Jerusalem to find out what other people, besides bitter me have to say.
Check out what these folks had to say about the better candidate for Israel: McCain or Obama?
Time Bank Jerusalem – Trade babysitting for salsa lessons; Cooking for Spanish; Yoga for visiting the elderly
Throw out your cash. Bartering is the new currency at the Jerusalem Time Bank, a community where people can swap valuable services with each other. The idea is that people can use their time as money since everyone’s time is equally valued.
If you want to sign up, go to the Jerusalem Time Bank Website or call 02-5664144 and fill out the questionnaire. First, choose the services that you can provide which range from playing chess to reflexology, and are supposed to include options for every age. Then, you can select the services you want to receive. I just submitted my application and am awaiting my interview, so I’ll keep you updated.
If you find yourself looking for new ways to save money, this is definitely a creative way to do it.
Boo to Elections. Yay to Reform.
"I will grab the boob by its nipple"
I guess you want me to say “yay”. Yay that Tzpi Livni is in which means Ehud Olmert is out. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that Olmert-poop-face is out, but let’s face it, Livni ain’t that much better. Am I complaining, probably, but is there truth to what I say, probably.
Livni is not really a step up from Olmert. She is still in the Kadima party (not a fan) and she’s still apart of that dirty three-way between Conda-poo-poo and Abu boo boo. Now, you’re thinking, so fine tell us who is better, and to that I say: no one. Everyone who is hot on the political scene is a liar-liar-pants-on-fire type of politician. What I would like to see is someone new, someone with a clean slate. This person exists except they are not in our face lying about what they can do or promising the unthinkable. I think the country is too apathetic to seek this person out, so instead we are stuck with the same old crowd.
I think the whole system is lame. This election just proves that there is a lack of checks and balances in Israel. Livni was voted in by her buddies and will form a new coalition making deals with the other parties. But where do we factor in? Where are the deals with the people? Why should Livni be my Prime Minister, when I don’t even get to vote for her? The system denies me my voice. If she is now the Kadima party leader, then we should have new elections and let the best man or woman win. Do you feel me?
I know Israelis loves their paper in an envelop style voting but I really want to stir things up and change the whole system. I propose a dance-off between the candidates. Let’s see who has the best moves on the dance floor when it comes to hip-hop, ballet, and traditional Israeli folk dance. Can you imagine the horror? And how about a hummus eating contest? If you are a true Israeli, then prove it with your hummus eating skills. Wipe down your plate and do it right! Finally, to show you are one of us I would like to see the candidates go through the most grueling process of them all- stand in a line at the bank, stand in a line at the bus station, stand in a line at the post office and lets see who crumbles under the pressure first. Because obviously the voting system is a joke, so why not make it something worth watching?
How to renew your U.S. passport in Jerusalem
vs.
If only the U.S Consulate would greet you with freshly-made Dunkin Donuts doughnuts and muffins, a Starbucks white-chocolate mocha and a fully-stocked Target, it might make up for the annoying process of renewing your passport and venturing into East Jerusalem.
If I could award one website with the worst usability, that special prize would go to.. wait for it.. the Jerusalem U.S. Consulate. After reading and re-reading each section of the site, the big question for me was still, how do people aged 16-26 renew their passport?!!! I pretended to fit into the over 26 category and it worked out, but um… some headlines and clarity would be nice. Americans are supposed to have a good reputation for clear instructions. Especially compared to the Israeli system. C’mon people!
In case you want to know how I went about it, or in case I need to do it again, here are the steps I took to renewing my passport.
Step 1: Make an appointment by clicking here. Mine took at least a month in advance to schedule.
Step 2: Read the U.S. Consulate website about 30 times to decide which form to fill out. In the end, I needed the DS-82 application so I printed it and filled it out.
Step 3: Prepare the following:
- DS-82 Passport Application
- Most recent passport and photocopy
- Two identical passport photographs – 2 x 2 inches (5cm x 5cm) showing full front view of the face with a white or off-white background only.
- $75 USD or the equivalent shekels
- 30 shekels for courier mail service
Step 4: Travel to 14 David Flusser in the Arnona neighborhood of Jerusalem 27 Nablus / Shchem St. which is off of Kvish 1 by the Paz Gas station. Maps, emails, phone number, and more details.
P.S. You can renew by mail or in person. But considering I don’t trust the Israeli mail system, and, get this, the Consulate emailed me that they don’t recommend it, I went in person.
Contact Info for the Jerusalem U.S. Consulate:
Phone: 02-628-7137 or 02-622-7219
Fax: 02-627-2233
Email: jerusalemacs@state.gov
Disclaimer: Please thoroughly check the Consulate site for updated information and to ensure you bring all the correct paperwork.
Overheard in Israel
I’m sure you’re familiar with Overheard in New York, a blog that lets people post the bits of conversation that they hear in the streets, at the office, wherever, so long as it’s funny. As with most trends, Israel is catching up, slowly but surely. Once again, thanks to Keren, I discovered the Hebrew version of Overheard called Gunav L’oznai, Tzitutim Shel Tzitutim, which Morfix tells us roughly, very roughly, translates to “found out about, quotes from eavesdropping”.
Here are some recent “overheards” that I picked from the Gunav site.
Translation:
Officer 1: Tell me, how do you say pistachios in English?
Officer 2: I don’t think they eat them in English…
Translation:
Can you come over her for a second, like for 10 seconds, for a second?
What funny things have you overheard lately?
Check out Israel’s version of Overheard – Gunav L’oznai
My 5 new favorite blogs, in honor of Blog Day
Today is International Blog Day, and bloggers are supposed to recommend 5 new blogs to create a greater sense of community in the blogosphere. Incidentally, Blog Day was created by an Israeli, Nir Ofir, who created BlogTV which I wrote about on israelplug a while back!
If only it was easy to narrow it down to 5! But that’s how this game is played, so here are some new blogs I’d recommend to you.
1. Jewish Humor Tube– posts funny Jewish or Israel related videos including this hysterical video from an Israeli extreme challenge TV show. Which makes me wonder, is this the closest Israeli TV gets to Double Dare? Where’s the slime?!
http://www.liveleak.com/e/b0e_1215189445
2. The Jew Spot – I found Monica’s blog from the list of bloggers who participated/watched the NBN JBlogger Conference . Monica interviews really cool and interesting people in the Jewish scene such as Idan Reichel and Chloe Jo.
3. Sex and the holy city – an unapologetic blog about the sexual escapades of a young woman in Jerusalem. Truly a meeting of Sex and the City and Jerusalem.
4. EngrishFunny I’ll be honest here, I have a major weakness for funny English signs and misspellings. Whenever I travel, which isn’t nearly enough these days, I’m always on the lookout for funny spelling mistakes.
5. Smitten kitchen – an amazing food blog that Yitz showed me, with the most stunning pictures that’ll leave you wiping up your keyboard from drooling over the beautiful bourbon peach hand pies, cold-brewed iced coffee, dimply plum cake, or whatever else is on the menu.
Happy Blog Day! Pass it on.
All about beer in Israel
In honor of the 4th annual Beer Festival coming up August 27-28 in Jerusalem, I thought I’d write all about beer in Israel.
The beer festival plans to bring 50 Israeli and international beer flavors to the table and beer drinkers in Israel are looking forward to tasting something other than the 4 or 5 that make it onto the typical restaurant menu.
I hope Dancing Camel will be there because I’ve been wanting to try their flavored beers ever since I heard about them. Over the holidays last year, Dancing Camel created etrog and jelly doughnut flavored beers in honor of Sukkot and Chanukah, and when it comes to my beer, the more flavor and girlier, the better. The Dancing Camel is a microbrewery in Tel Aviv started by an American named David Cohen who has already gathered somewhat of a cult following.
If you’re inspired by the beer festival to make your own and compete with Goldstar, there’s a company in Mevasseret Zion called The Winemaker that sells beer starter kits and offers courses on how to start brewing. I think I heard about them from Hakerem, an Israeli wine blog.
[Update: Thanks to Jerusalemite, here’s link for the festival and sad to say, the list of beers featured doesn’t include The Dancing Camel. ]
And here’s a song about beer to get you in the mood for the festival.
Kitzur: Find definitions for Hebrew abbreviations and acronyms
My friend Keren let me in on a secret Hebrew weapon called Kitzur, which gives you the definition for thousands of Hebrew acronyms and abbreviations. I immediately went to the slang section and was amused by all the ridiculous abbreviations like “Gvinatz” for Gvinah Tzehubah (the ambiguous but ever popular Yellow Cheese). Um. Can’t remember the last time I heard someone order using either of the 2 shortened varieties. But if you try it, good luck, and let me know how it goes.
The phrases in the slang section are especially helpful in the following situations:
a. You want to pretend you are/were in the army
b. You want to be an ars (punky, annoying Israeli teenagers)
c. You are easily amused by just how many words and phrases can be shortened into ridiculous combinations that would have an Israeli get his/her whole family together to point and laugh at you if you decided to actually use some of them.
Use these phrases with caution. Some will help you fit in, but others could be disastrous for your post-Ulpan departure (but I would love to hear the outcomes). So, only start using one of the phrases once you’ve looked up the definition in English (you can use Morfix) and actually heard it used in context.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find Zabaj in the listings…
P.S. For those of you still in abbreviation mode, I found a site, Abbreviation that gives definitions of English abbreviations and acronyms. (Thanks, Make Use of)
kIDs tALk NEWS: It is time the news is reported by the little people!
It is time to hear the news from kids! Enough of bias reporters and jaded stories…let’s hear what they have to say.
Ok…here you go. Check out what my video chug has been up to, reporting from the streets of Jerusalem. This news package is on cell phones. This is their first story of many to come. Also check out the blooper reel. And we want your feedback. Tell us what you think we should report. We would even be happy to report about your companies, non-profits, special events, interesting people, etc. Just let us know!
Tu B’av: Where’s the Love?
Check out this funny clip brought to you by the witty Benji Lovitt. Tu B’av is the Israeli version of Valentine’s Day. Benji wants to share this holiday with a hot Israeli girl, but does a hot Israeli girl want to share it with him? Watch the video to see if Benji can bring it!
The Big Felafel 