The Big Felafel

Ahmandinejad “the dude”

Does this Ahmandinejad know how to sell himself or what? When the President of Iran comes to town, New York New York, he makes sure everyone from CNN to the average U.S. citizen who can’t even place Iran on a map, is at least aware that the “dude” is on his way.

I am not shocked that President Ahmandinejad has taken this opportunity to truly shine; after all any evil leader would do the same. What I am shocked about is America’s fierce censorship policy against his visit. Ahmandinejad is not allowed to visit ground zero and Columbia University which plans to have him speak Monday night, is getting flak for their supposed Anti-American attitude.

I think Ahmandinejad should go where he pleases in “the land of the free.” Not only that, I think President Bush should give him a tour of ground zero. I think the whole thing should be filmed and if I had it my way I would make a reality series out of it, starring Ahmandinejad with this as the premiere episode of the season.

In fact I think this is just the occasion the world has been waiting for. Lets see what this man has to say. Will he praise the terrorists of September 11 in order to hear the applause of his terrorist buddies or will he give his condolences and lose the tough guy image we have grown to hate?

As for Columbia University- man, what I would give to be one of those students and listen to this nut job sell propaganda like a cheap whore. What will he say and better yet what won’t he say? Will his words say one thing but his eyes whisper a different meaning? What will he wear?

If you have noticed, he always seems to be wearing dull colors and simple jackets. I think he could really stand out as the scary leader he wants to be with bold colors and tailored suits.

As far as the protesters, what exactly is it that they are protesting? His existence? His right to have the same freedom as any tourist in America? His blatant hate for America and Israel? Have you forgotten he is in the United States for the UN General Assembly which his country is a part of.

Who is the enemy? As far as I can see the enemy is the liar. And who is lying? Unlike President Bush who is constantly covering up his shady messes- Ahmandinejad puts it all out there for the world to see. He doesn’t want to be Israel’s friend and he isn’t hiding it like Palestinian President Abbas who carries on his charades of pleasant secret peace talks with the two-faced Israeli Prime Minister Olmert.

With that said, I secretly stick to my tantalizing conspiracy theory that President Ahmandinejad is really just an Israeli Mossad agent who has outdone the deceased Mossad agent Eli Cohen and climbed the ranks in Iran spewing hate in order to give Israel the enemy they need and can attack.

Not only do I hope that during Ahmandinejad’s visit he is truly able to say whatever he wants to say, I hope he can be a real tourist while in America. I want him to catch a football game, sit in a trendy East village coffee shop and visit ground zero. After all, the entire world will be watching, man just think of all the advertising money lost!