The Big Felafel

Warning: Prepare for false gumball hopes this Sukkot

It would seem cruel to put gumballs in arms reach of a little child and then forbid him from eating them. But, in a stroke of genius, the Jerusalem municipality that we have all come to love (and hate), has done exactly that. The municipality decided to set up a sukkah in Kikar Safra and fill it with candy and gumball machines that are purposely out of order. You can look, but you can’t touch.

How could that ever have been perceived as a good idea? Maybe it went something like this: I know, let’s have kids walk in with great hopes of delicious candy and play a cruel, sick joke on them by not allowing them to have any. Oh, and we’ll have a clever play on words so everyone will chuckle – sukkariyah (candy) in the sukkah! weeee.

But don’t worry, when the kids saw what the city had in store for them, they fought back, in the best way that kids know how. They shook those machines and stuffed money in, until damnit, they worked and candy came out. So ha-ha to you, Mr. Every-2-Seconds-Announcement-that-the-machines-don’t-work and the city of Jerusalem. Take that.

Maybe they had been reading some old Mitch Hedberg jokes….

“I like cinnamon rolls, but I don’t always have time to make a pan. That’s why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all, I’d rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.” -Mitch Hedberg


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