The Big Felafel


Don’t Listen to Beilin’s Broken Record

beilin.JPGThis is an Opinion Piece in response to Beilin’s Ynet Article, Don’t repeat mistake of 2000, on March 8, 2008.

Mr.Beilin it is hard to take you seriously when your advice seems to end with a punch line rather than a message. It is you, and your past that has brought the Israeli people to the current situation, and not, as you claimed, “The IDF’s harsh response to Palestinian violence in 2000.”

In your article, you had the audacity to ask that we do not “repeat mistakes” again. Your request is a joke because it is the mistakes we made during Oslo that we are now repeating. During the Oslo Accords our country was made to believe that shootings were not “real terrorist attacks.” Shootings became like roadblocks; somehow it was believed that we needed them in order to obtain peace. According to the Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs, from the signing of the Declaration of Principles between Israel and the PLO (the Oslo Accords) on September 13, 1993, until September 2000, 256 civilians and soldiers were killed in terrorist attacks in Israel.

The quiet that you spoke of in 2007, was nothing more than a waiting period until the next uprising, war, or whatever term fits the crime. It was not as though in 2007, Fatah, Hamas and other terrorist groups thought to themselves, “You know the Jews aren’t that bad. This living side-by-side thing seems like a great idea. Let’s give peace a chance.” In fact, it is embracing the quiet of 2007, rather than interpreting its silence that has brought the days of relentless rocket fire to the South, and the Yeshiva shooting to Jerusalem (not to mention the other terrorist attacks that have happened in the past few years). Continue reading this entry »

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On the Border of Peace

I can’t believe it but we are finally on the road to peace. It seems that the disgruntled Palestinians in Gaza have decided to help out the peace process by crossing over the border to Egypt.What does this tell me? The Palestinians are looking for an answer to the current situation. While Bush, Olmert and Abbas try to figure out the refugee problem, the Palestinians are showing us how to solve it. The Palestinians looked for help from their Arab brothers in Egypt and found refuge. The Egyptians said they will keep the border open as long as the “humanitarian crisis” continues in Gaza.

I think the other Arab countries need to take Egypt’s example and open their doors as well. Let’s fix this mess once and for all. The Palestinians live in squalor with or without electricity and gas. They do not need aid from the Arab world; they need the Arab world to welcome them into their countries.

And so it is that this whole disaster is truly a blessing in disguise for the peace process. Israel has forced the Arab world to take action. We are steps away from a “real peace”. Once the Palestinians can move out of Gaza it will obviously stop the rocket fire and destroy Hamas’ Power- since there would be no one to govern.

The UN, EU and USA can throw a little money at the situation to help the Palestinians get started in their new lives and everyone can live in quiet. Isn’t that the ideal?


How I Faked It: Breaking Into The Media

dscf0194.JPGI faked it. While the Americans brought their top security guys from America and Israel posted police on every street corner- I managed to sneak into the Press hotel and pretend to be one of them. It amazes me just how lax security was- so much so that I even had a taste of the White House Press-ONLY Buffet.

Besides being an awesome experience, sneaking in made me realize why the Press don’t report the truth. Indeed they are much too busy making friends and networking in the hotel lobby. Add to that complimentary food and drink and you’ve got a group of people that are never going to do their job well.

How did I do it- you ask? How could I have made it past security and not get caught once? It was simple- I faked it. My backup plan was saying I needed to go the bathroom but I never even needed to talk to anyone. Continue reading this entry »


The Schedule for President Bush’s Visit to the Homeland

The Big Felafel has managed to obtain President Bush’s tentative schedule for his visit this coming week to Israel. While his plans may change make sure to check into The Big Felafel for all the latest news on Bushy Bush’s visit in the Homeland.

Remember that although Bush has been preaching the Road Map during his very long Presidential term, this is his first visit to Israel. Apparently he thought that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict was an interactive television show where viewers try to help the contestants- Olmert and Abu Mazen- get out of “trouble. After Conda-poo-poo’s last visit she informed Bush that she was indeed in a real foreign land that does exist. She insisted that he visit to see the real “trouble” occurring in the region. Apparently Bush was shocked to here that this was not just another ABC series like “Lost” and immediately told Conda-poo-poo to plan his trip to the foreign land so that he may meet the real contestants- he meant people.

The tentative schedule:

Wednesday:

8:00am: Arrives and is welcomed by Soldiers and the Palestinian Authority Police Officers. Two of the officers are the terrorists from last weeks shooting in Hebron. He will award them the gold medal of honor in a ceremony that Prime Minister Olmert has set up to show some more “Good Faith.” Abu Mazen is upset that he isn’t getting anything since he helped plan it and freed them.

9:00am: Off to Gaza where he will dig his own tunnel, retrieve weapons through the Egyptian border, set up Kassam launchers with fellow terrorists and even have a chance to fire one or two from the former homes of Gush Katif residents.

11:00am: To the other side, Bush will end up in Sderot where he will meet with Kassam rocket victims, families affected by the rockets and the Mayor who hasn’t slept in months. He has been invited to a family’s home that no longer has a roof thanks to rocket fire. Then he will experience an hour of rocket fire throughout the city. They have told Bush he will be playing hide and seek, for Sderot this means after you hear the red alert you have about 15 seconds to find shelter- good luck! Continue reading this entry »


Fighting Festivals Are The Answer

fight-festival.jpgLast week Peru held its annual Fighting Festival in which citizens, including women and children, are allowed to brawl each other in order to get rid of stress.

Forget Peace Talks I think Israel needs to adopt this Festival as soon as possible. Imagine taking all your frustration of driving in the city, paying ridiculous bills, waiting in lines that have no order, being pushed in the street- I could go on- but just imagine taking that frustration and channeling it into one fight with someone that is just as angry as you. You duke it out, bleed a little and then you feel better. Also friends and family watch and can take part in this exciting ass-kicking moment in your life. Continue reading this entry »