The Big Felafel


‘Be My BFF’ Campaign: Sarah Silverman Be My Friend

This is what our friendship would look like

A few years ago famous comedian Sarah Silverman took part in a campaign geared towards getting young Jews to make sure their grandparents in Florida voted for then presidential candidate Barak Obama, in ‘The Great Schlep’.

Fast forward a few years later to present day, famous comedian Sarah Silverman is about to partake in another schlep, The Really Great Schlep, as she makes her way to the Jewish Homeland. That’s right, Silverman, obviously a big Jew, will be in Israel on tour and at this year’s President’s conference in about a week.

I am sure she will have an awesome trip, hang out with her family, and see some Jewish stuff while she is here. But more importantly, she needs to come and hang out with me, because we are destined to be BFFs. Is there a way to say that, write that, without sounding creepy or stalkerish?

So, just like Sarah Silverman once campaigned to make a difference, it appears it is now my turn to do the same. Perhaps my campaign is much smaller, really just for me and my friends and my comedy troupe, but I believe it will have a profound  effect on the nation, on Jews as a whole, and perhaps even milk prices.

Sarah Silverman this is my ‘Be My BFF’ campaign and I will do everything that I can until you and I are wearing friendship bracelets, posing in front of the Western Wall with our shoulders covered (thanks to the old lady-shmata-police at the Kotel who hand out dirty scarves to make sure G-d doesn’t get a peep show in the holiest place in the world) and leftover hummus and pita in our teeth.

There are a lot of reasons that you should be my friend and meet me on your trip to Israel. I will now list just a few. Also, I will make sure to tweet it up, Facebook and get my friends involved in my campaign. I will not sleep or eat until you are my friend. Mainly I won’t be sleeping because my eight-month-old son is teething and wakes up every two hours throughout the night. And when I say I won’t eat, what I mean is, I won’t eat too much, except for Shabbat when calories don’t count.

A List of Just a Few Reasons Why We Should be BFF:

We are both Jewish ( I only use this as a reason, because people think when they are setting people up, as long as they have one thing in common, like age, race or religion, that they must be perfect for each other…just trying to cover my bases. And this is kind of like the perfect shidduch).

I have a tiny comedy troupe, in a tiny city, in a tiny country. We are Hahafuch (it means upside down) the premiere English speaking comedy troupe in all of Israel. The only English speaking comedy troupe in all of Israel. We do improv and comedy sketches, making fun of Israel. We would love to have you for practice. Then you can check off “do improv with a bunch of new immigrants in Jerusalem” from your bucket list.

My husband is an archaeologist and can show you a private tour of his dig where they find really old stuff. He can also show you and your family awesome, really old secret places all over Jerusalem that you don’t know about.

I will take you to Bazaar Strauss in Talpiot, which is like a smaller, crappier version of Target. I will buy you anything you want, as long as it’s under NIS 10. It might not sound like much, but you could get a lot of stuff there for that price: underwear (never used, I might add), salad tongs, or half of a Purim costume (I say half because the other half is gone but they are still selling it).

I go to this Yoga-Pilates fusion class that you would love. Not because of the workout, but because the teacher wears these amazing pants, that are so wrong in all the wrong places. It is truly a body and mind challenge to get through the class. But as BFFs I know we could do it together.

I will take you to the Jerusalem Mahane Yehuda Shuk and you can meet a real busta (stall) owner in the Iraqi part, and I can guarantee he will give you some candy and tell you cool stories about his life.  I will then buy you NIS 5 ice coffee from marzipan and get you some of their famous rugelach if you insist. We will look at really pretty vegetables and take another picture, that I would probably make my Facebook profile for life.

You’re invited for Shabbat. I will make sure to have a table of awesome people, even if it means I have to become more than Facebook friends with them and possibly have to pay them. For a BFF, I would do that.

There’s more reasons of course, but I have to leave something for Twitter and Facebook. I will post reasons daily and I hope you will check them out and I will win you over. Like I said I will do anything. I can’t promise peace in the Middle East, but I can promise it like a politician does- which is about the same and worth a Nobel Prize if nothing else.

I know if we had the chance to hang out that it would be just another day in your world but for me it would kind of make my life. I moved to Israel after college and while I love it here, sometimes it’s hard to get through the day. Not because of terrorists. No I’m talking about something more evil than that- bureaucracy. So, I am just saying that you would make a big difference in someone’s life. And that difference will have a huge effect throughout the Anglo-Immigrant community in Israel. That’s a big deal. A really big deal. So on your Really Big Schlep, please just consider taking an hour or two to meet your Middle East BFF.

He wants to be BFFs too!

Also, I have a dog. He’s a Jerusalem mix and knows how to high five and roll over. We rescued him. He does not make white dog poop from the 70’s, but I can have my Israeli husband sing that song to you. He has it memorized.

To hang out you can email here. Or tweet me @FelafelBalls

Can’t wait!

 

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Israeli cooks giant falafel for NY Parade

Thanks to @davidzstein for alerting me to the most important news of the century!

According to the Jpost:

In honor of the annual New York ‘Salute to Israel Parade’ on Sunday May 23, an Israeli chef cooked a 30 lb (13.5 kg) falafel ball, setting a world record.

Former Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau and an engineer certified the ball of chickpeas and spices for the Guinness Book of World Records. The ball was cooked in over 40 l. of water, and has a circumference of over a meter.

It seemed only appropriate that we report on a giant felafel here on The Big Felafel.


The Swedes Make the So-called TV Tax Almost Cool!

How about this for a TV Tax: The Swedish have got it right when it comes to the so-called TV Tax. First off- they don’t call it the TV Tax which is confusing and wrong— they call it the Broadcasting Tax, and define it as “Everyone who owns, rents or borrows a television receiver has to pay for a TV License. It doesn’t matter which channels you watch, the mere fact that you have a TV receiver makes you liable to pay for a license.” Perhaps if the tax was about broadcasting, and the actual receiver as opposed to the TV box then we could all get along here. I mean after all, that’s really what the tax is about: taxing us for government funded channels. But if I don’t watch those channels, can’t even get those channels on my TV and only use it to watch DVDs then I shouldn’t have to pay a TV tax which is really just a Broadcasting Tax. And believe me I have explained this to no end to the Israeli TV Tax folks, but they are just not interested (they literally don’t read the letters I send, emails, or phone calls). And furthermore if they could give people the option of not having a Channel receiver then the mess would be even less of a mess and maybe not a mess at all!

OK, this is a rant I have given way to many times. This time I am just saying check out the really cool way the Swedes have managed to inform people about paying their tax. Rather than sending threatening letters, giving you fines, and just assuming you are guilty of owning a TV and watching their amazing channels without paying for them, the Swedes say, hey, we’re good at what we do so check out our amazing commercial and will prove how awesome we are, and then pay your tax.

Check out this commercial which may start off slow, but believe me it’s so worth it to watch. Why you ask? Because in this version of the film the Felafel Ladies make an appearance, and if you watch it to the end then you too can make an appearance. Just watch it to see what I’m talking about. And just imagine if the TV Tax bureaucrats in Israel could get out of their mob mentality and actually do something this creative, perhaps people wouldn’t be fighting the tax at all, and just enjoy good entertainment!


On the Border of Peace

I can’t believe it but we are finally on the road to peace. It seems that the disgruntled Palestinians in Gaza have decided to help out the peace process by crossing over the border to Egypt.What does this tell me? The Palestinians are looking for an answer to the current situation. While Bush, Olmert and Abbas try to figure out the refugee problem, the Palestinians are showing us how to solve it. The Palestinians looked for help from their Arab brothers in Egypt and found refuge. The Egyptians said they will keep the border open as long as the “humanitarian crisis” continues in Gaza.

I think the other Arab countries need to take Egypt’s example and open their doors as well. Let’s fix this mess once and for all. The Palestinians live in squalor with or without electricity and gas. They do not need aid from the Arab world; they need the Arab world to welcome them into their countries.

And so it is that this whole disaster is truly a blessing in disguise for the peace process. Israel has forced the Arab world to take action. We are steps away from a “real peace”. Once the Palestinians can move out of Gaza it will obviously stop the rocket fire and destroy Hamas’ Power- since there would be no one to govern.

The UN, EU and USA can throw a little money at the situation to help the Palestinians get started in their new lives and everyone can live in quiet. Isn’t that the ideal?