The Big Felafel


From Comb Over to Potty Training: Old Prime Minister Meet Your New Competition

How about this for change – a city in Oklahoma has just voted the youngest Mayor into office. And when I say young, I mean diapers and training wheels, the kid is only 19-years-old. He beat out grandpa and actually has a campaign to back him up. How did he get voted in? Nope, this isn’t a popularity contest; it’s simpler than that. The citizens of Muskogee were fed up with the “same old political shenanigans” and decided to go with someone that has no baggage. The only weight he might be carrying is a beer bong, over his shoulder.

Could this be a solution for Israel’s political corruption too? While I am no fan of Prime Minister (maybe) Olmert, we all have to admit his lies, money laundering and house buying, is typical – what’s the word they used – “political shenanigans”, for Israel or any country for that matter. Barak, Netanyahu, Livni, they all have some kind of baggage that they will bring with them, if and when they play the role of Prime Minister. My only disappointment is that Olmert isn’t getting kicked out for bad hair. He sported that comb over for years and there were no repercussions!

That being said, a young person wouldn’t have a comb over, just like he wouldn’t have baggage. And if he or she is going to be the next Israeli Prime Minister, then they must be a toddler!

The search should start in preschools around the country. We’re looking for a kid that doesn’t poop his pants and understands the meaning of no. We want someone verbal, but identifies with nap time. Finally, we need someone with a good spirit, who sings along at song sessions and grabs a partner to dance in the middle of the circle.

If you know a child like this than please contact your local community representative and lets get this campaign together for the probable upcoming election.

And in the meantime, enjoy this video about Olmert I made over a year ago about his lies and of course his comb over. It is hard to believe he has lasted this long.


The Schedule for President Bush’s Visit to the Homeland

The Big Felafel has managed to obtain President Bush’s tentative schedule for his visit this coming week to Israel. While his plans may change make sure to check into The Big Felafel for all the latest news on Bushy Bush’s visit in the Homeland.

Remember that although Bush has been preaching the Road Map during his very long Presidential term, this is his first visit to Israel. Apparently he thought that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict was an interactive television show where viewers try to help the contestants- Olmert and Abu Mazen- get out of “trouble. After Conda-poo-poo’s last visit she informed Bush that she was indeed in a real foreign land that does exist. She insisted that he visit to see the real “trouble” occurring in the region. Apparently Bush was shocked to here that this was not just another ABC series like “Lost” and immediately told Conda-poo-poo to plan his trip to the foreign land so that he may meet the real contestants- he meant people.

The tentative schedule:

Wednesday:

8:00am: Arrives and is welcomed by Soldiers and the Palestinian Authority Police Officers. Two of the officers are the terrorists from last weeks shooting in Hebron. He will award them the gold medal of honor in a ceremony that Prime Minister Olmert has set up to show some more “Good Faith.” Abu Mazen is upset that he isn’t getting anything since he helped plan it and freed them.

9:00am: Off to Gaza where he will dig his own tunnel, retrieve weapons through the Egyptian border, set up Kassam launchers with fellow terrorists and even have a chance to fire one or two from the former homes of Gush Katif residents.

11:00am: To the other side, Bush will end up in Sderot where he will meet with Kassam rocket victims, families affected by the rockets and the Mayor who hasn’t slept in months. He has been invited to a family’s home that no longer has a roof thanks to rocket fire. Then he will experience an hour of rocket fire throughout the city. They have told Bush he will be playing hide and seek, for Sderot this means after you hear the red alert you have about 15 seconds to find shelter- good luck! Continue reading this entry »


Fighting Festivals Are The Answer

fight-festival.jpgLast week Peru held its annual Fighting Festival in which citizens, including women and children, are allowed to brawl each other in order to get rid of stress.

Forget Peace Talks I think Israel needs to adopt this Festival as soon as possible. Imagine taking all your frustration of driving in the city, paying ridiculous bills, waiting in lines that have no order, being pushed in the street- I could go on- but just imagine taking that frustration and channeling it into one fight with someone that is just as angry as you. You duke it out, bleed a little and then you feel better. Also friends and family watch and can take part in this exciting ass-kicking moment in your life. Continue reading this entry »