Movie theaters in Israel = oy vey
Seret.co.il has been scouted. The movie’s been selected. The time’s been arranged. The friend’s are notified. And now your off to… weeee… the movies. And then as soon as you get there, it hits you, in the form of a spiked blond-streaked, tight-jeaned, no deodarant-ed 12 year old male pushing his way in front of you along with the rest of his posse, that this fun night might turn out otherwise. The most ironic part among all this mayhem are the assigned seats. So even if the whole theater is empty, you must (and they check) sit in your assigned seat in the back row.
Once you get your ticket, you figure, I’ll go into the theater and have a little snack before the movie starts. Ha! The ticket-tearer looks at your ticket, then looks at you, and then says, Mah Pitom (What are you thinking!) Your movie doesn’t start for another 3 minutes, you can’t come in early!
Oh, I’m so sorry Mr. Ticket Man and Mr. Globus Movie Theater, I didn’t mean to spend money on your overpriced candy and help your business.
That’s right, you can’t go into the theater until your movie has already started! This part reminds me of the Gauntlet that I used to watch on American Gladiators. Herds and herds just push and shove their way in and run to the appropriate theater and once inside, fumble around in the dark trying to find their seat.
We’ll pretend it ends there and that the actual movie experience is pleasurable. It would be a shame to mention how the 12 year olds manage to ruin every part of every minute by letting their phones ring and shouting to each other from across the theater. Or how they have a hafsaka (halfway break for a smoke, candy, or pee-pee) at the best part of the movie.
Phew. Had to get that out. Only Rav Chen in Talpiot from now on.