The Big Felafel

7 months of funny search terms

Some people check their blog stats for duration of visit, referring sites, or most popular content. I prefer to check mine for search terms of how people findthe big felafel. Some are the usual like “misrad hapnim Jerusalem” or “book stores Jerusalem” but some are pretty hilarious and fall into the following categories.

Seeking Philosophical answers I really wonder if anybody can ever explain these wonders of the world

  • Is ahmadedejad evil
  • Assigned seats in movie theater
  • Are there 50 or 52 states
  • Are there movie theaters in Israel

Religiouis oh Jews… always looking to make fun of themselves

  • Shemittah jokes
  • yom kippur funny

Weird um

  • And a pile of bandaids, thank you
  • Make friends with salad
  • Poo fight faceback

Random things I would never, ever, ever think of looking up but maybe now I will

  • Tushy police
  • How to dump your facebook friends
  • My tushy is too large
  • 3 things that happened during the invention chocolate

Vague Even if these people found the answers they were looking for, I still don’t think they’d be happy with the answer. I recommend these people use Google’s advanced search feature.

  • Make falafel game
  • Why do you know that they are boys
  • Location or place where the book sells
  • How big is a parking spot
  • The cost of stuff in Israel
  • How much do groceries cost in Israel
  • calories in falafel
  • How many shekels is food in Israel
  • how much do things cost in israeli shekels

Cut the crap – give me the low down

  • How much is a falafel in Israel
  • Price of chicken in Israel
  • how do people make a living in israel

An Israeli Errand…Not Just a Stop at the Dry Cleaners!

The Israeli lifestyle often involves lots of errands. Unlike the errands most of us are used to: dry cleaning, grocery shopping, post office and the bank in Israel you can add bureaucratic government offices to your list.

A typical stop at your local health office, municipality or tax authority means you are stuck in lines without ropes, rude tellers and paper work you can’t understand. Sometimes you might even get stuck with a bill!

But for me, last Thursday at the Television Tax Authority was so much more than that! I can’t even put it into words luckily I had my video camera with me and taped the eventful errand!

Hi, is Zionism there?

Update: This post got picked up by Arutz Sheva

Where has the Zionism gone? I guess when rockets explode they bring with them a big bang to our idealism. Forget Gaydamak’s efforts to ship kids from Sderot to Jerusalem, now there is a new organization, Save Israel’s Children, transporting kids all the way to America.

While I commend the Americans who have opened their homes to the victims of Sderot I can’t help but ask the question, why? Why is this the solution? My fear is this attitude to solving problems will soon leave us without a state. If the rockets fire begins to hit Tel Aviv and Jerusalem will we move everyone to a safer location like America or Europe?

In fact isn’t this playing exactly into the terrorists’ hands? Continue reading this entry »

Into Minus to Add A Bush

dscf0177.JPGIsrael is not a land of wealth. We don’t have oil like the other Middle Eastern countries surrounding us and we aren’t a world economic power. Let’s face it – we can’t even pay our educators what they deserve or even half of that. But when President Bush comes to town…our country goes to town!Mr. Bush’s one and let’s hope only visit, will cost the citizens of Israel $25,000 an hour. He has taken over the King David Hotel, closed down the country’s main highways and brought his closest friends and their dog walkers with him. Not to mention the swarming media who trail behind his every move (Check out my other post- How I Faked It: Breaking into the Media).

And what will the Israelis citizens get in return for being put out and robbed? A friend- or at least that is how Olmert sees it. During last night’s press conference, Olmert couldn’t help himself when it came to gushing over his favorite buddy. It seemed like after every answer Olmert would thank Bush for being here, helping us and staying a true partner in the Peace Process. Continue reading this entry »

How I Faked It: Breaking Into The Media

dscf0194.JPGI faked it. While the Americans brought their top security guys from America and Israel posted police on every street corner- I managed to sneak into the Press hotel and pretend to be one of them. It amazes me just how lax security was- so much so that I even had a taste of the White House Press-ONLY Buffet.

Besides being an awesome experience, sneaking in made me realize why the Press don’t report the truth. Indeed they are much too busy making friends and networking in the hotel lobby. Add to that complimentary food and drink and you’ve got a group of people that are never going to do their job well.

How did I do it- you ask? How could I have made it past security and not get caught once? It was simple- I faked it. My backup plan was saying I needed to go the bathroom but I never even needed to talk to anyone. Continue reading this entry »

Best and Worst of 2007: the big felafel style

Olmert getting rid of that nasty nasty comb over Olmert still in Office
Free television online at Television tax that only some people receive even if you don’t own a tv.
The Facebook Song Annapolis
The dollar losing value The dollar losing value
Discovering the show Israelim Discovering they cancelled Israelim but you can still watch it online
50 shekel boots Raising the prices of milk,flour and the shuk salatim
Marzipan’s Ice cafe for NIS 5 stays the same price and stays the whole year- no more waiting for summer! Getting my first crown through health insurance
Finding out about Brooklyn Bakery where they serve real muffins and donuts Conda-poo-poo coming here almost every two weeks
Seinfeld coming to Israel Teachers Protest and University Professors Protest
Getting rid of CNN Getting rid of CNN and keeping FOX
Realizing I can take a Sherut instead of a bus The lines wherever you go
Pomegrantes in the Fall Having my bicylce stolen
Learning that you do your grocery shopping online the gyms in Jerusalem (I’m from LA- there is no comparing)
Pesach Rap video The continous Jerusalem construction of new homes no one here can afford
Hannukah Parody video Shmita

We want to hear what you thought was the best and worst too. Feel free to write us and we will think about adding your best or worst!