Israel and the US: Fake Friends…Dude Accept it!
Why is the US making such a big deal out of last week’s declaration to build more homes in Jerusalem? Is it because it embarrassed Vice President Biden during his trip in Israel? I mean dude get over it. No, what I believe we have here is more likely a case of Fake Friends.
Here’s all I’m saying: I have friends that I really like and friends that are in my circle but I’m not so close to. If my ‘fake friend’ in the circle does something that annoys me then it drives me crazy. I can’t stop thinking about it, it changes the whole way I look at the person and makes me want to push them further out of my circle. But if a good friend did the same thing that annoyed me, I really wouldn’t care or make a big deal out of it. They are a good friend and I know them so it really doesn’t affect me and we move on.
Let’s cut the crap and call Israel and the US what they really are: Fake Friends. The US is always bashing Israel for making minor mistakes and even when we admit to the mistake, try to fix the mistake and move on there seems to be an endless amount of repercussions even leading to Israel’s ambassador to the US, Michael Oren stating that our relations are the worst in 35 years. This sounds like a case of fake friends and not just bad relations.
Case in point: Hey didn’t the Palestinians just fire kassam rockets into Israel this past week? Why yes they did. And where was the US- were they condemning their actions and telling them how this destroys any chance for peace and the process? Well I certainly didn’t read about it in the news and it hasn’t been coming out of Hilary Clinton’s mouth or Obama’s so I’m guessing they’re ok with it.
And that is because the US is playing favorites in their friend circle. I get it and it’s clear, Israel is a fake friend. You don’t want us to prosper, you don’t want us to build homes and you get us in trouble for doing the most minor of mistakes while the other side has blatantly begun violent attacks from kassam rockets to rioting in the Old City, a classic beginning-of-the-Intifada move.
I think good relations or bad relations, what does it really matter? As a fake friend you will always remain inside the circle and when you are needed then you edge closer to the juicy middle where you are appreciated but just know you will always do something to piss off your fake friend and end up on the outskirts again. That’s not diplomacy it’s just obvious.
If Israel and the US were Facebook friends, then we would need to create a status called fake friends (to tell you the truth this should already be an option since I clearly have ‘friends’ that I never talk to, like ever).
Israel needs to accept this status and go with it. Let’s focus on our better friends, the ones that like us, even if they are few and far a part (and I can’t think of any right now). Let’s hang out with them, have slumber parties, girl talk, bake and roast marshmallows. And as for the US let’s keep our distance, and continue to build homes for our people, protect our children and enjoy the fruits of our country’s success. Cause if we don’t, no one will.
Happy Purim 2010! Special Jerusalem Festivities!
It’s time to put on your gigantic over-sized sunglasses, afro wig, fairy wings, cape or whatever it is that you’re planning for this Purim and start searching for the perfect place to hang out this Purim of 2010! My friend asked me to share a special Purim event this year in Jerusalem. For a full guide to Purim 2010 in Jerusalem, check out The Jerusalem Blueprint.
Special Guest Writer Nava Rosenbloom:
Purim is a time to flip things around, so do something a bit different this Year! Cafe Alexander is hosting a Megilla reading followed by a Purim party featuring the vivacious, soulful rock of Optimystical. Get all your Purim drinking, partying, grooving and costuming done with a classy ambiance.
There’s a bar, delicious food and indoor/outdoor seating. And if you think you have the most creative costume this year, Cafe Alexander will give you a 75 shekel credit at the cafe if they think you’re right.
Sunday, February 28 8pm-1am
Megilla reading – 20:00
Live music – 21:00
40 NIS entrance fee includes—
- Glass of spiked Purim punch
- Alexander’s famous gourmet coffee (coffee voucher valid for one week)
- Hamantashen
Cafe Alexander is located at 3 Yanai St. Jerusalem which is up the block from Mamila Mall and Hotel. Its on the corner of Yanai and King Shlomo Street which is the continuation of King David Street.
For more info: 02 625 6018 or marc@cafe-alexander.com
To get you in the mood, here is Hahafuch’s hilarious Purim video!!
HaHaפuch Comedy Show- Just the Beginning!!
Well, the HaHaפuch Comedy troupe had our first show and we are already looking forward to the next one in March. The show, a mix of improv, sketches, videos, musical guest and immigrant innovation spotlight interview, finally got to share with the world, or at least the people in the audience how funny we find Israel to be. From our sketches on the new creation of Hummus in a Bag and the Stacy Spin-off Show (via Srugim) to a Q&A with the Rabbanout and our satirical news segment, we have only just begun our humor attack on
Israeli life.
Check out some of our videos from the show and let us know if you have any ideas for Israeli sketches. We want to hear from you about daily life experiences from job interviews to bureaucratic fights, to delicious food and bad dates. We
plan to perform once a month at The Merkaz Hamagshimim Theater still at the same location in the German Colony. Every month will be a whole new show of improv, sketches, musical guest and more.
Become a Fan of our Facebook page
Israel is Funny: The HaHaפuch Comedy Show Feb.11
Do you ever stand in line for the post office or bank or ministry of interior or just the bus and feel so stressed out that no one around you seems to know where the line begins and ends? And you want to scream, but instead you just elbow everyone because you’ve learned that’s how you get around in this country, or at least in these so-called lines? Then you get to the end of the line and rather than feeling relieved you feel overcome with emotion and want to cry or scream? Then later when you tell your friend the story, you are both laughing about it, because it is so ridiculous and your friend can tell you the same story?
Well, if you follow any of that, and agree, then you need to come to the HaHaפuch Comedy show on Thursday February 11th. The comedy show is a variety of improv, sketches and videos that aims at making fun of life here in Israel. We will also have a special musical guest, a cappella group Kolture Shock and even a special segment called Spotlight on Immigrant Innovation, which will feature a new immigrant
who is doing something great here in Israel. For our first show we are featuring immigrant Jonathan Miller co-owner of Asif Winery in Arad. Did I mention he only made Aliyah in 2006? Awesome! Miller will do a free wine tasting before the show and will sell his delicious award-winning wine. The show starts at 8pm but doors open at 7:30pm and that is when the wine tasting will take place so I strongly suggest you come and get it! There will also be cheap beer to add to the fun.
We plan to perform once a month at our current venue at the Merkaz Hamgshimim Theater in the German Colony. Check out the cool flier they made for us! And to learn more check out our Facebook page. Oh, and here is a clip for all you Srugim lovers, Stacy wants you to come to our show too!
Remember, Israel is funny. And if you don’t think so then you haven’t seen our show.
The Swedes Make the So-called TV Tax Almost Cool!
How about this for a TV Tax: The Swedish have got it right when it comes to the so-called TV Tax. First off- they don’t call it the TV Tax which is confusing and wrong— they call it the Broadcasting Tax, and define it as “Everyone who owns, rents or borrows a television receiver has to pay for a TV License. It doesn’t matter which channels you watch, the mere fact that you have a TV receiver makes you liable to pay for a license.” Perhaps if the tax was about broadcasting, and the actual receiver as opposed to the TV box then we could all get along here. I mean after all, that’s really what the tax is about: taxing us for government funded channels. But if I don’t watch those channels, can’t even get those channels on my TV and only use it to watch DVDs then I shouldn’t have to pay a TV tax which is really just a Broadcasting Tax. And believe me I have explained this to no end to the Israeli TV Tax folks, but they are just not interested (they literally don’t read the letters I send, emails, or phone calls). And furthermore if they could give people the option of not having a Channel receiver then the mess would be even less of a mess and maybe not a mess at all!
OK, this is a rant I have given way to many times. This time I am just saying check out the really cool way the Swedes have managed to inform people about paying their tax. Rather than sending threatening letters, giving you fines, and just assuming you are guilty of owning a TV and watching their amazing channels without paying for them, the Swedes say, hey, we’re good at what we do so check out our amazing commercial and will prove how awesome we are, and then pay your tax.
Check out this commercial which may start off slow, but believe me it’s so worth it to watch. Why you ask? Because in this version of the film the Felafel Ladies make an appearance, and if you watch it to the end then you too can make an appearance. Just watch it to see what I’m talking about. And just imagine if the TV Tax bureaucrats in Israel could get out of their mob mentality and actually do something this creative, perhaps people wouldn’t be fighting the tax at all, and just enjoy good entertainment!
9 ways to order or download English books in Israel
I love walking into bookstores. I love the smell. I love rummaging and looking for great finds. I love the bargain bin. I even love reading book spines until my neck is permanently stuck to my shoulder. But if you live in Israel, there is no massive Barnes & Noble – like store or well-stocked library with English books besides Hebrew University. There are a few bookstores that carry English books but it’s very possible that you won’t find what you’re looking for. So, as much as I love dawdling around in a bookshop, I find myself drawn back to the web to find more choices. The problem is that some online stores like Amazon charge a ridiculous amount to ship books to Israel. Luckily, I’ve spotted a bunch of bookstores that ship relatively cheaply or even for free to Israel and a few websites where you can download books for free.
Note about shipping: If you order books over $50, you may be required to pay a VAT tax at the Israeli post office.

The Book Directory Free worldwide delivery
Better World Books – $3.97 shipping worldwide; Bargain Bin has 5 used books for $15
Books 4 Now– Israel-based online booksstore that sells used books in Israel. Order 4 books, get free delivery anywhere in Israel
AngloBooks – website to trade English books with others in Israel
Hook A Book – focused on Israel although prices are in dollars. Free international standard shipping. The site is a little hard on the eyes and there is no search function which makes it a bit difficult to browse but maybe they’re still developing the site as it’s pretty new. PayPal accepted.
Project Gutenberg Over 30,000 works of literature, cookbooks, reference works, periodicals, etc. in the form of e-books and audio mp3s that you can download for free.
42Scifi New and used English sci-fi books in Israel.
Bookmooch – bookswap based on points sysem. For each book you want, you have to send 2 books to others
HebrewBooks Over 40,000 classical Hebrew books for free download. Mostly Jewish books and texts. Books in Hebrew and English.- Abebooks.com English books. Check the Shipping Destination and Rates for each book to see the rate to ship books to Israel
- Bookme.co.il – Mostly Hebrew books. Seems like only new books
- Obook.co.il – Used and New Hebrew and English books
- Findabook.co.il – Used Hebrew and English books
- BookTrade.co.il – Used Hebrew and English books
- gilboabooks.co.il – Used Hebrew books and small selection of English books
- book4book.co.il – Used and New Hebrew and English books
- books4u.co.il – New Hebrew books and small selection of English books
- Steimatsky – New Hebrew and English books
- Tzomet Sfarim – New Hebrew and English books
Watch Season 2 of Srugim ONLINE (Israel only)
Thanks to @avihein on Twitter for being the first to alert everyone that you can now watch “Yifat gets married”, the first episode of the second season of Srugim online. You can read what we’ve written about Srugim here and here. If you need to catch up and do a marathon of the first season – you can watch it free online [Israel only].
For the uninitiated, Srugim is an Israeli drama series (in Hebrew) about young religious singles and couples in Jerusalem. Srugim’s portrayal of life in Jerusalem is fairly accurate and it really touches on a lot of issues that come up for the 20’s and 30’s crowd in the holy city. The show really hits home – I literally ran into them filming a few times just walking around my neighborhood. It’s also really fun to try and figure out where each shot is filmed and to spot someone I know casually walking by in the backdrop.
As Molly wrote up, we were lucky to see the first 2 episodes at the Jerusalem Cinemateque with “Amir” (Amos Tamam), Laizy Shapira (director) and Chava Divon (co-director) from Srugim. Now I’m spoiled and want to watch the rest of the season with the whole cast! If you’re reading this, Srugim cast, you’re invited over to watch on my laptop (I don’t watch TV) as I hunt down each episode online! I’ll even make some popcorn. Yalla!
Other peeps talking about Season 2:
- Swamped with Singles – Jerusalem Post
- Weaving Together a New Season of Srugim – Jerusalem.com
- Laizy Shapira, one of the brave ones – Habitza.com
“Srugim” the show, I ask you: “איפה (Where’s) Ha-Anglo?”

'Amir' with the felafel ladies!
The ever popular TV show “Srugim” is about to start its second season January 10, 2010. But cool people like me and my co-blogger and skinny friend Rebecca have already seen the first two episodes. How did we accomplish such a feat? Well it was simple really, during Hannukah the Jerusalem Cinameteque held the preimere for the new episodes along with a panel of the show’s producers, writers and one of the actors.
I have to admit that for Jerusalem this was pretty cool. Rebecca and I had front row seats which we thought would be great to view the subtitles extra large, but unfortunately Hebrew Ulpan was hardcore that night with no subtitles and lots of Israeli slang. While the seats didn’t help our Hebrew lesson, they were great because we ended up right in front of one of the actors of the show, Amos Tamam, who plays Amir. In some ways it was weird, you know, was I supposed to laugh extra hard in the funny scenes because he was behind me? Should I have sighed when it was sad? It felt like I was on the TV show, not him!

Anyway, I won’t give away anything so no spoiler alerts, but I will say this: For a show that does a pretty good job depicting Jerusalem’s young religious and semi-religious and non-religious crowd, where’s the token Anglo!! If you remember back to the first episode there was Stacy the ‘American immigrant-reform-lesbian’ that lived next door and was handy for some morning tefilin, but since that appearance we have yet to bump into any Anglos on the street, in classes, or date anyone — which is just hard to believe.

Come on Laizy! That’s the writer and director’s name; I’m not just calling him lazy! Where’s the Anglo? Either bring Stacy back for more episodes, which I am sure Shira Katz, my improv buddy would love or get an Anglo supporting character in the cast. You must know there’s a lot of us watching and basically there’s a lot of us in Jerusalem. So as you start to write the third season please keep us in mind. And, if you can’t think of a plot or two, let me give you some starters- just know that if you use my ideas I want the credit or at least a pat on the back!
Plots:
- Stacy has a (insert Jewish holiday here) party and invites the building. Here the characters meet and become buddies. They share a Shabbat or two, hang out on Emek Refaim and drink like an Anglo whose under age!
- The Anglo turned immigrant turned student who meets Hodaya at school.
- Nati dates an Anglo girl. That’s simple fun and goes a long way.
- Nati dates Molly. Hey it could happen!
- Yifat has to design something for The Big Felafel. Molly and Rebecca make a star appearance later to have reoccurring roles on the show. Get it! We play ourselves, it’s pure genius! The blog will truly come to life.
- Nati wants some underage booty and ends up at one of those bars with the ‘Shana Alef kids’ we’ve all come to hate.
- While the gang hangs out at a café on Emek Refaim a Birthright group invades their space. But one of the members leaves a lasting impression on someone in the group. (it’s not porn, just romance)
- Amir teaches an Anglo Hebrew for extra money and ends up setting up the Anglo with either Nati or Reut (depending on if it’s a boy or girl).
- Reut meets an Anglo boy at synagogue over Kiddish- hott!
- Hodaya becomes friends with an Anglo at her bar who is also debating her level of religiosity.
Laizy, I got more if and when you want it! Just write us!
To join the Bring Back Stacy Facebook Group click here
Photo credit (thanks): Rebecca for the first photo and Dana Lavi Dekel for the bottom 2 photos
To watch the show’s first season for free online
Ode to Merkaz Hamagshimim

A few months ago I heard that Merkaz Hamagshimim was sold and moving to another location. All because of scumbag Madoff who lost $90 million of Hadassah’s money. I started reminiscing with others about what a wonderful “soft landing pad” The Merkaz was and how chaval (a shame) that it won’t be there in the same format for the next olim or would-be olim who come to Israel. The Merkaz was a combination of absorption center and community center located in the German Colony of Jeusalem. A place where you could live for a year on the cheap after making aliyah or while figuring out what to do in Israel and seeing if you want to move here for good.
If it hadn’t been for Merkaz Hamagshimim, I don’t know that I’d still be in Israel. It was while living in The Merkaz that I got to go to ulpan, work at an internship-turned-job, do Jewish learning, meet my would-be husband, meet co-blogger Molly and other friends, and the list goes on. In order to get a real sense of coming to Israel through a newcomers eye, I dug into group emails I had sent and found hilarious observations from my first year in Israel in 2004-05 while living at The Merkaz. Enjoy!

Arrival
I’ve arrived!!!!!!! Merkaz Hamagshimim is unbelievable. I love my room but am still slightly nauseous from the ride from the airport. Replace ride with crazy israeli driver. i think he thought it was six flags great adventure and that we were on a roller coaster. he was the only one that went weee. oy.
Walking to town
We timed the walk to town today, and with our new carefully planned route it takes about 20 minutes to the Conservative Yeshiva and 30 minutes to town. I know the time, not because I have a watch, which I don’t, but because I’ve been carryng around my clock. Every time I want to check the time I pull out a clock from my bag. Maybe I should tie it around my neck. Or get a watch. We’ll see.
My Room
My room is really cute, airy, breezy, and right across from a camp (I hope) where Abba’s “dancing queen” has been playing since 9AM. Sometimes they listened to it in hebrew for variety and sang along. To say the least, its been in my head all day. My room also has a stove top and a fridge. the stove top was SOOOO nasty, so i bought some cleaning spray, only to find out later it was really to polish wooden furniture. yeah for hebrew and the english i failed to pay attention to. way to go. but actually it cleaned the grime nicely and also turned it into wood, which was an added bonus.
Only two computers at The Merkaz
Thank you for your emails, i read them over and over (you know who you are who have been emailing) because i miss you and because i love staring at this computer screen, i have been at it for (gasp) the past 2 hours almost. i am hogging the computer at the merkaz (there’s more than 1) because i am far too tired to be social So last night after scrubbing my stove for 3 hours (or so it felt) i tried to fall asleep to the beautiful sounds of cats meowing. oh jerusalem, you will never cease to live up to your reputation of being infestd with stray cats, even for me.
The no-shake internship
This morning I met with the people that I will be interning for. It took me less than 20 minutes to walk there, which is great. The walk to work is so nice, with lots of flowers, and cute stores, and fruit stands, and i’m sure i won’t be able to resist the little bakery with fresh, warm, baked goods (my biggest weakness) so i’m really looking forward to it. The guys that I’m working for are really laid back and seem very nice. They are religious so there was no handshake (in case that was on your mind, now you know)
Awkward Change
Speaking of hands, I am sooo awkward, well in general, but more specifically at the supermarket, I extend my hand for the change but they always place it on the plastic counter. next time i will remember. woooops.
Supermarket Shopping
I went to the supermarket and pretty much bought everything in sight. How could I resist those sesame pretzels, and ‘vaflim’, and nutella, and cucumbers that I thought were zucchini. Woops.
Hebrew and Japanese
Ya caught me- i got nothin on japanese, but my hebrew is improving drastically. I love the people in my ulpan- i went to lunch with them and spoke hebrew for an hour. it was ‘fantasti’ .
Israel. week 25? Maybe. whos going to check.. honestly
What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been here for a while and am still very unsure of the future.
Discovering sabich
one more thing- food item called sabeech— amazing! ‘madheem’ wowsers. i hate eggplant but not sabeech eggplant, so fried and delicious and the pita and the hardboiled egg and wow. come visit and i’ll show you the best place.
Going on tiyulim
so i’m going on a Merkaz tiyul this weekend with hiking and biking and raking and caking and poking and soaking (?)
The Lingo
Rak Rega. (insert hand motion here which makes me want to curse out Israelis every chance I get)
Returning after a trip to the States
here i am. back in israel. as an israeli. more agressive? don’t think so. better hebrew? yes. better than an israeli? ehhh…
Making Aliyah
so i’ve gone and i’ve done it. the big A word. not the curse word, the other one. aliya. or aliyah. depending on how much you like silent letters.
What’s in Season? Winter Fruits and Vegetables in Israel
Note from Rebecca: I’ve been reading Miriam’s blog, Israeli Kitchen, and asked her if she could help us out during the year to remember which fruits and vegetables are in season. For some reason, I can never remember when celery turns wilty or avocado can sadly no longer be found or when strawberries make a most welcome comeback. So Miriam to the rescue! Miriam creates original recipes and posts them on her blog and agreed to share some of her favorite winter recipes with The Big Felafel. Enjoy and make sure to check out Israeli Kitchen for more recipes. Stay tuned for the Spring, Summer and Fall editions of “What’s in Season”. Without further ado, Miriam of Israeli Kitchen:
When rain streams over my window and it gets dark early, I cook soup. The family shleps in towards evening, dripping and complaining. As they pull off coats and put umbrellas away, they sniff the aromatic odor wafting from the big pot on the stove, and know that in a few minutes they’ll be sitting down to their favorite winter food – home-made soup.
I started my soup in the supermarket, slowly cruising the vegetable aisles. All kinds of mushrooms were on sale. Then there was firm, golden corn on the cob, which made me think of cornbread baked with corn kernels in it. Slender, pale-green leeks and crisp celery lay in orderly rows. Piles of potatoes, both white and red varieties…hmm. A delicate leek and potato soup, aromatic with celery, possibly?
Or how about a robust white bean soup with tomatoes and diced carrots, flavored with thyme and plenty of onions? There were so many vegetables! But I was enjoying this cook’s dilemma.
I pushed the shopping cart on. Knobby celeriac and pale parsley roots were fat and tender. When the weather gets hot again, they’ll go thin, not as good. I like to include one or two of those roots in my chicken or beef soups for the rich, sweetish flavor they give out. All those vegetables are in season and reasonably priced. What soup, what soup would I feed my family tonight?
The mushrooms won. I could have bought a few vibrantly green stalks of broccoli, also in season, for a broccoli/mushroom soup, but I love the pure taste of mushrooms alone. I chose a little basket of firm, brown Portobelos and served my soup with warm slices of that chunky cornbread.
We ate and thawed out. The soup performed its reliable magic, filling stomachs and souls with comfort. By the time we sigh and push our bowls away, life had started looking good again.
A colorful salad of sliced tomatoes and avocados followed. It needed only a little lemon juice, a drizzle of olive oil, and a dusting of salt for dressing. All Israeli winter produce for dinner last night.
Recipes:
Mushroom Soup

Ingredients:
2 Tablespoons olive oil
450 grams – 1 lb. fresh mushrooms, clean and sliced thinly. Put 4 aside for later.
1 medium onion, sliced
2 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 small potato, peeled and diced
1 bay leaf
1 cup water
3 cups of milk
2 Tablespoons white wine
1 Tablespoon butter
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme, or a sprig of fresh
salt and white pepper to taste
1/4 cup chopped chives or chopped parsley
Method:
1. In your soup pot, sauté the onions till they’re wilted.
2. Add the sliced mushrooms and the diced potatoes. Stir and cook till the mushrooms have released their juice and the potatoes are starting to get soft.
3. Add the garlic and the bay leaf.
4. Add the water. Cover the pot and cook the vegetables over low heat till they are all soft.
5. Take the pot off the heat. Either transfer the soup base to a blender or food processor, or use a stick blender, but process it till the vegetables are blended.
6. Return the blended vegetables to the pot (I just take my stick blender to the whole thing – off the heat, of course).
7. Add the milk, bring it up to a simmer, and cook for another 15 minutes. Don’t let the milk boil over.
8. Swirl the butter in. Add the wine and the thyme and the 4 sliced mushrooms you put aside, and simmer the soup another minute or so.
Spoon out some of the mushroom slices into each bowl and sprinkle chopped chives or parsley over them. Serve.
Cornbread with Fresh Corn Kernels

Ingredients:
1/1/4 cups white flour
3/4 cup corn meal
4 Tblsp. sugar
3 tsp. baking powder (Israelis can just empty out a little package of baking powder into the bowl)
3/4 tsp. salt
1 egg
1 cup milk
2 Tblsp. melted butter. You can use oil or marg, but it will never be as good.
2 corn cobs, broken in halves and steamed till the kernels are tender.
Method:
Preheat the oven to 375 F – 190 C.
Have ready a medium-sized bowl and two smaller bowls.
1. Scrape the kernels off the corn cobs; put into one of the smaller bowls and set aside.
2. Sift the dry ingredients into the larger bowl.
3. In the smaller bowl, beat the egg. Add the milk and melted butter and mix well.
4. Add the liquid mixture to the dry ingredients, mixing well again.
5. Add the corn kernels to the batter and mix.
6. Spread the batter in a butter 9-inch pie dish; or line your pan with baking paper.
Bake for 30-35 minutes or until the cornbread is golden brown all over.
Here’s a quick list of especially delicious and available fruits and vegetables during the winter months.
Please feel free to comment with your favorite winter eats in Israel.
- mushrooms, many varieties
- all the citrus: oranges, pomelos, grapefruits, tangerines
- apples
- avocados
- lettuce: cos or Arab lettuce, oak-leaf, iceberg
