Where’s the Mexican food?
About a month ago, Rebecca (my co-blogger and skinny friend), exposed the sushi take-over in Jerusalem. Like a lot of people, she was happy to see Jerusalem swimming in seaweed. But me-I am still waiting for the Mexicans to cross the border.
Did you know that there are no Mexican restaurants in Jerusalem? Some may want to argue that the restaurant Poyo Loco in Talpiot is Mexican, but they would be wrong. First of all, I don’t think a Mexican restaurant menu should offer salsa, spaghetti and hummus. And it doesn’t matter now anyways because the restaurant closed down.
And don’t even go there with, “La Boca is Mexican,” because what you want to say is, “La Boca is a strange and expensive restaurant. They claim to serve Spanish food, yet all I could find in my tiny portion was an Israeli salad wrapped in a tortilla.” So don’t go there.
Here’s the deal. I am originally from Los Angeles, so baby food came in a taco. Continue reading this entry »
An Israeli Errand…Not Just a Stop at the Dry Cleaners!
The Israeli lifestyle often involves lots of errands. Unlike the errands most of us are used to: dry cleaning, grocery shopping, post office and the bank in Israel you can add bureaucratic government offices to your list.
A typical stop at your local health office, municipality or tax authority means you are stuck in lines without ropes, rude tellers and paper work you can’t understand. Sometimes you might even get stuck with a bill!
But for me, last Thursday at the Television Tax Authority was so much more than that! I can’t even put it into words luckily I had my video camera with me and taped the eventful errand!
Another Lesson Learned: Just be a Crybaby
When you are an American attempting to live in Israel life can feel like a smashed banana. It is a feeling of knowing that 
something beautifully bright and ripe can turn into a mushy dark shriveled mess. And that is exactly how I feel when I lose a battle in Israel.These battles that new immigrants are sometimes forced to learn become vital lessons for survival in Israel. I would like to share my lesson with you in hopes that you can gain something from my horrible experience, without having to actually experience it.
Lesson 239: Don’t be a Tough Guy…Just be a Cry Baby
My parents taught me to always stand up for myself. However, it is difficult to keep that goal in Israel. Whether it is at the municipality, tax authority, social services or at the bank, it seems like everyone is out to screw me.
Case in point is my most recent battle with Bank Leumi. In November my improv group performed for a Jewish Agency Internship group. We were told we would be paid as long as we provided an invoice to the sponsor of the night’s event, Bank Leumi. We gave the invoice to the Jewish Agency before the show and they informed us it would be passed along to Bank Leumi and we should be paid two weeks after the show.
Of course you and I both know that two weeks came and went and we were not paid. After another two weeks I was in contact with the Jewish Agency to check up on our payment. And that is when I went from ripe banana to black mush.
I was bounced back and forth between the Jewish Agency, Bank Leumi and our bank, Discount, for the next two months. First the Jewish Agency said we still needed an accountant number and then Bank Leumi told us that we needed another document. When we would go to Bank Discount they insisted we had already given the proper information and it was ridiculous for Bank Leumi (or any client) to insist for more info in order to pay us. Continue reading this entry »
Are you a member of this Facebook group?
If you thought that Facebook was just a website for your random friends and photo albums, then you are sorely mistaken. If you have ever joined a Facebook group then you know that there are a lot of strange and wonderful things happening in cyberspace.Perhaps you have an interest in toes, well don’t worry because there are over 500 groups that are willing and ready to accept you and your foot fetish. There are just as many groups for cookie monster lovers too. And somewhere in between all that you can find a new group urging Sderot residents to learn how to build kassams.
It might sound random but for many this group is a desperate last resort to end the barrage of kassams. I think it is time to admit that if we wait for the government’s response we will all be as bald as Olmert before there is any retaliation. Therefore it is left up to the citizens to end the rocket fire.
There are many ways to try to get your message out there. Continue reading this entry »
On the Border of Peace
I can’t believe it but we are finally on the road to peace. It seems that the disgruntled Palestinians in Gaza have decided to help out the peace process by crossing over the border to Egypt.What does this tell me? The Palestinians are looking for an answer to the current situation. While Bush, Olmert and Abbas try to figure out the refugee problem, the Palestinians are showing us how to solve it. The Palestinians looked for help from their Arab brothers in Egypt and found refuge. The Egyptians said they will keep the border open as long as the “humanitarian crisis” continues in Gaza.
I think the other Arab countries need to take Egypt’s example and open their doors as well. Let’s fix this mess once and for all. The Palestinians live in squalor with or without electricity and gas. They do not need aid from the Arab world; they need the Arab world to welcome them into their countries.
And so it is that this whole disaster is truly a blessing in disguise for the peace process. Israel has forced the Arab world to take action. We are steps away from a “real peace”. Once the Palestinians can move out of Gaza it will obviously stop the rocket fire and destroy Hamas’ Power- since there would be no one to govern.
The UN, EU and USA can throw a little money at the situation to help the Palestinians get started in their new lives and everyone can live in quiet. Isn’t that the ideal?
Hi, is Zionism there?
Update: This post got picked up by Arutz Sheva
Where has the Zionism gone? I guess when rockets explode they bring with them a big bang to our idealism. Forget Gaydamak’s efforts to ship kids from Sderot to Jerusalem, now there is a new organization, Save Israel’s Children, transporting kids all the way to America.
While I commend the Americans who have opened their homes to the victims of Sderot I can’t help but ask the question, why? Why is this the solution? My fear is this attitude to solving problems will soon leave us without a state. If the rockets fire begins to hit Tel Aviv and Jerusalem will we move everyone to a safer location like America or Europe?
In fact isn’t this playing exactly into the terrorists’ hands? Continue reading this entry »
Bloggers Beware- The Government Doesn’t Like Your Negativity
If reading the news gives you stomach indigestion- then welcome to my world. Reading headlines that are blatantly anti-Israel is one thing, but I haven’t even seen articles on the other side, and that has made me nauseous. Where have all the protesters gone? Where are the investigative journalists with their breaking news stories about corrupt politicians and dirty government games? Does anyone out there have an opinion and want to voice it?
I think I found an answer to my questions in The Jerusalem Post’s columnist Caroline Glick’s latest editorial, Our World: How Olmert defies gravity. Not only does she explain the government’s leash on the media but she goes into detail about the left wing media’s grip on the press. Just to get an understanding of what we are dealing with here, read below (make sure to have a barf bag near by): Continue reading this entry »
Take Out the Trash
The trash cans are overflowing and the stench, overwhelming. The streets are littered with remnants of dinner from last week, stacked ten feet high, and there is no waste worker in sight to clean up this mess. While this could very well be the scene of another trash workers’ strike in Israel it’s actually the case for Naples, Italy.
You thought we had it bad when the waste workers go on strike; try living in Naples right now where the trash has piled to over 1,500 tons. This is no strike but rather the results of a dispute over a ten year old trashy problem. About eleven years ago the city closed down a waste dump but now the government wants to reopen it. The citizens are furious and have taken to the streets, protesting and refusing the dump to be resurrected. Continue reading this entry »
Sderot to Egypt: Sue You! That’s Our Rocket and it Comes With A Bang!
When I was growing up in LA we lived life a little differently then the rest of the world. For example, if someone made fun of me and I gave them a taste of their own medicine, the final outcome would be, “so sue me.” We learned early on that suing someone was the best form of attack and could really do the most damage.Now that I live in Israel it seems that Israelis have finally learned the art form of suing. The critical goal of suing someone is to “stick it to them.” When you sue someone you are sending a message to the other side that you are done being Mr. Nice-guy and want to fight dirty- even dirtier than guerilla warfare, you want to fight and bring your lawyers. Continue reading this entry »
Into Minus to Add A Bush
Israel is not a land of wealth. We don’t have oil like the other Middle Eastern countries surrounding us and we aren’t a world economic power. Let’s face it – we can’t even pay our educators what they deserve or even half of that. But when President Bush comes to town…our country goes to town!Mr. Bush’s one and let’s hope only visit, will cost the citizens of Israel $25,000 an hour. He has taken over the King David Hotel, closed down the country’s main highways and brought his closest friends and their dog walkers with him. Not to mention the swarming media who trail behind his every move (Check out my other post- How I Faked It: Breaking into the Media).
And what will the Israelis citizens get in return for being put out and robbed? A friend- or at least that is how Olmert sees it. During last night’s press conference, Olmert couldn’t help himself when it came to gushing over his favorite buddy. It seemed like after every answer Olmert would thank Bush for being here, helping us and staying a true partner in the Peace Process. Continue reading this entry »
The Big Felafel 