Category Archive
The following is a list of all entries from the If I ran Israel category.
Fighting Festivals Are The Answer
Last week Peru held its annual Fighting Festival in which citizens, including women and children, are allowed to brawl each other in order to get rid of stress.
Forget Peace Talks I think Israel needs to adopt this Festival as soon as possible. Imagine taking all your frustration of driving in the city, paying ridiculous bills, waiting in lines that have no order, being pushed in the street- I could go on- but just imagine taking that frustration and channeling it into one fight with someone that is just as angry as you. You duke it out, bleed a little and then you feel better. Also friends and family watch and can take part in this exciting ass-kicking moment in your life. Continue reading this entry »
Did anybody else notice this wacky bus story?
Although I don’t usually focus on news stories, this one particularly caught my eye. (See full article below or at Jpost)
It appears that a man was neglected by Egged at a Kiryat Ye’arim station. Awww… Next thing you know, that guy is getting 18,000 shekels from Egged! Still feel sorry for him?
Is Israel turning into America? Will people be suing Cafe Hillel over too-hot coffee that accidentally spilled in their lap? I find this story unbelievable for so many reasons. Let’s try to break down why. Continue reading this entry »
Leave it to the teachers to teach us how to protest
The teachers may not be in school, but they sure are everywhere. Finally we have a group of people that know how to fight the fight.
Israel may allow a corrupt government to stay in office but the teachers will not let the evil doers get away with destroying our future generation.
Leave it to the teachers to teach us how to protest. Unlike the recent protests of concerts, tents in the middle of the city that no one paid attention too- these protests are the real deal. They are yelling in front of the Knesset, waving their signs on Keren HaYesod and enjoying horn honking citizens sharing in their mission.
I can only hope the protest fever spreads quickly and get us all a little more involved in fighting the frauds keeping us from the better Israel. While the Pioneering days of Israel may be over lets hope the Protesting days are just getting started.
Fox News Invasion
To my horror I have just discovered one of Israel’s worst mistakes in history and it is happening in the present. HOT cable has decided to switch from CNN to Fox News for their international news channel.
While I am not a big fan of CNN, I can’t stand the blatantly right-wing news content -and I use the term loosely – that Fox News broadcasts. How will I know what is going on in Iraq with the President’s PR network as my only source of news? Continue reading this entry »
You’re telling me there is a no smoking law in Israel- what did you smoke?
Before I moved to Israel I was forewarned that I might become addicted to cigarettes. My friends informed me that everyone smokes; it is a cultural pastime that is literally addicting.
Turns out I don’t need to even light up a cigarette to smoke a pack a day- instead I just need to hang out in public places and get my free lung cancer from those breaking the law. Like almost everything in Israel, the No Smoking Law is not really enforced. It’s basically a recommendation that people decide not to take. Continue reading this entry »
Conda-poo-poo and the peace flu
I always know when Condoleezza Rice, or as I refer to her- Conda-poo-poo, is in town. While she has a lovely stay at Jerusalem’s most quality hotel, the David Citadel, the rest of us suffer with traffic jams, road blocks and an outbreak of the peace flu.
Conda-poo-poo isn’t afraid to talk about peace but she sure is terrified about traveling in Israel alone. She has her usual American posse as well as the added dozens of security guards, road barriers and the finest secret service agents Israel has to offer. Continue reading this entry »
Israel’s education system: 3 hours a day is sufficient
As most people returned to a normal workweek after the never ending Sukkot holiday, the teachers in my “little sister“‘s school in Jerusalem have decided that 3 hours a day for the next 3 months will give kids a decent education. You guessed it, the teachers are on strike again leaving kids to figure out what to do past 11am.
This is eerily similar to what happened during Pesach (Passover) time, when vacation from school extended for another 3 weeks, leaving my little sister again with nothing to do for well over a month. Is this really happening? Who will want to move to Israel and raise their children in a place where school is only an afterthought, an optional activity during the day.
I’ve heard that teachers earn a salary that can’t possibly afford them housing and food, something like 2-3,000 shekels a month – 24,000-36,000 shekels a year, less than $9,000 a year!!!!! The average salary in Israel is somewhere around 7,000 shekels a month and teachers are making less than half!
And here’s what the Finance Minister has to say, in true Israeli fashion of not wanting to give in, “there would be no extra money for teachers… since a reform agreement had already signed with the Ministry of Education, there was no room for additional budgets”.
I’m sorry, but a cute owl with a green genie lamp (?) in your logo just isn’t going to cut it.
Police Poo Poo
I bike in Jerusalem. I take to the streets and pedal my tushy up the hills of gold. I sweat as I cut off crazy Israeli drivers and curse them under my breath. I don’t know how I do it but somehow I have never been in an accident and the helmet remains more of a fashion statement than safety tool. And while I haven’t found my body under the tires of a nut job Israeli who is smoking, talking on their cell, yelling at their kids, changing the baby’s diaper (nooo!) or just not paying attention to the road, I can’t help but wonder- how the hell do I stay on the bike?
There is no one answer for this question but there is a group of people that I know DO NOT help me in staying alive and that would be the police. I will say a big no thank you to the police force that drive around their city with flashing lights, yelling in their loudspeakers and cutting off the crazy Israeli drivers- you (police force as a whole) are crap. Not only does the so-called force break the rules themselves but they do not enforce the law even when they see it being broken to a dangerous extent. Continue reading this entry »
Sderot Protest? What Protest?
As Sderot continues to be bombed with Kassam rockets it has become clearer to me that the government really does not care. Is it because Sderot is not Tel Aviv or is it because they are not fighting loud enough?
Whatever the case may be, Sderot parents decided to take the matter into their own hands and hold a protest at the Knesset today. The protest was scheduled for noon and I made sure to be there. While it seems like most Israelis are apathetic to Sderot, the government and just about anything else, I chose to believe in the fight. Continue reading this entry »
Sunday Withdrawal
Three years after I moved to Israel I am still having Sunday withdrawal problems. There is no Sunday in Israel. No brunches or reading the thick Sunday paper until the newsprint is all over you and you are half-asleep on the couch by noon. I am beginning to think this is something you don’t get over. My Sunday may have left me but I am not ready to leave it.
Continue reading this entry »
The Big Felafel 
