Another Lesson Learned: Just be a Crybaby
When you are an American attempting to live in Israel life can feel like a smashed banana. It is a feeling of knowing that 
something beautifully bright and ripe can turn into a mushy dark shriveled mess. And that is exactly how I feel when I lose a battle in Israel.These battles that new immigrants are sometimes forced to learn become vital lessons for survival in Israel. I would like to share my lesson with you in hopes that you can gain something from my horrible experience, without having to actually experience it.
Lesson 239: Don’t be a Tough Guy…Just be a Cry Baby
My parents taught me to always stand up for myself. However, it is difficult to keep that goal in Israel. Whether it is at the municipality, tax authority, social services or at the bank, it seems like everyone is out to screw me.
Case in point is my most recent battle with Bank Leumi. In November my improv group performed for a Jewish Agency Internship group. We were told we would be paid as long as we provided an invoice to the sponsor of the night’s event, Bank Leumi. We gave the invoice to the Jewish Agency before the show and they informed us it would be passed along to Bank Leumi and we should be paid two weeks after the show.
Of course you and I both know that two weeks came and went and we were not paid. After another two weeks I was in contact with the Jewish Agency to check up on our payment. And that is when I went from ripe banana to black mush.
I was bounced back and forth between the Jewish Agency, Bank Leumi and our bank, Discount, for the next two months. First the Jewish Agency said we still needed an accountant number and then Bank Leumi told us that we needed another document. When we would go to Bank Discount they insisted we had already given the proper information and it was ridiculous for Bank Leumi (or any client) to insist for more info in order to pay us. Continue reading this entry »
Jerusalem supermarket price wars target caffeine-addicted, chicken-lovin’, messy babies
I am no official Hebrew translator, but I do believe Ynet is telling me there is a massive price war happening between the Talpiot supermarkets Mega and Rami Levi. It was probably my post about ridiculous supermarket prices that really got things moving. Ha!
The price wars are centered around the price of chicken, which is at an all time low at Rami Levi for 89 agurot a kilo (if you spend over 200 shekels). At Mega, it’s now 99 agurot a kilo ( if you spend over 150 shekels).
I went to Mega firsthand tonight to see for myself. There was in fact 99 agurot a kilo chicken as well as hour long lines to take any joy and fun away. It was also Tuesday, Mega’s shuk night where fruit and veggies are very cheap.
I’m still trying to figure out what all the items featured in the price war have in common, but I can’t exactly put my finger on it. The items are
- Chicken: 89 agurot/kilo at Rami Levi; 99 agurot/kilo at Mega
- Elite Coffee: 9.99 NIS at Mega
- Pampers Diapers – 33.90 NIS at Rami Levi, 39.99 NIS atMega
- Colon Clothing Detergent – 34.99 NIS at Mega
- CocaCola 6 bottles – 19.99 NIS at Mega
- Soft Toilet Paper 32 rolls – 19.99 NIS at Mega
I guess they figure there must be a lot of caffeine-addicted, chicken-lovin’ messy babies crawling around out there. Anyone got any better ideas?Mega has declared that it wants the Mega in Talpiot to be the cheapest in Israel. Truly amazing. I wonder if people will come in all the way from Haifa…
Thanks for the tip, Ari.
Update Feb 15: Rami Levy ain’t chickening out, and at 0.79 per kilo, everyone’s fleeing
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Free Rice – addictive, davka
I recently discovered the website FreeRice.com and it takes me back to my studying-for-the-SAT days. Weeee! FreeRice.com is a very simple concept – for every vocab question you get right, they donate rice to Africa, thanks to the advertisers.
I never thought it would happen to me, but it seems I’ve become like other anglos in Israel who can’t seem to keep their languages separate. I’m starting to notice that I’m slowly losing my vocabulary and every once in a while words like davka, matim, and lahefech creep into my conversations without even noticing.
Sometimes I even click my tongue to say no. No, Gd forbid I should ever start doing that. But I don’t think Free Rice could help much with that anyway…
I am so happy I found this site as a way to refresh my vocab. And how cool to know that by improving my vocab, I’m donating rice. Who thinks of these things? Genius.
Are you a member of this Facebook group?
If you thought that Facebook was just a website for your random friends and photo albums, then you are sorely mistaken. If you have ever joined a Facebook group then you know that there are a lot of strange and wonderful things happening in cyberspace.Perhaps you have an interest in toes, well don’t worry because there are over 500 groups that are willing and ready to accept you and your foot fetish. There are just as many groups for cookie monster lovers too. And somewhere in between all that you can find a new group urging Sderot residents to learn how to build kassams.
It might sound random but for many this group is a desperate last resort to end the barrage of kassams. I think it is time to admit that if we wait for the government’s response we will all be as bald as Olmert before there is any retaliation. Therefore it is left up to the citizens to end the rocket fire.
There are many ways to try to get your message out there. Continue reading this entry »
Top 6 Bargains in Israel (and the runner-ups)
After being in Israel for over 3 years, I think I have established the top 6 bargains in Israel. But please, if I forgot any, leave a comment and tell me all about it.
- Tablecloths for 18 shekels 10 shekels
I found pretty Shabbat tablecloths that just about everyone seems to have for 18 shek. This deal is so good, it turns out, that every time my mom comes to visit, it is the only thing she stocks up on.
Where: Agrippas St in Jerusalem, coming up from King George toward the Mahane Yehuda shuk. It is on the left hand side and they usually have the tablecloths displayed on the street.
Update: The store on Agrippas went out of business. But you can find an even better deal at Bazar Strauss in Talpiot across from the Achim Yisrael mall Haircut for 35 shekels
We previously wrote about how you can get a 35 shekel haircut by a hair-cutting student at Shuki Zukri Diri in downtown Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.Turns out that Mr. Zikri owes millions on the grey market and therefore has shut down his beauty salons. Real bummer. The only thing I can recommend now is to wait for a good deal to show up on group deal sites like Groupon or the like.
Phone: 02-624-0171- Nesher Shared Taxi Sherut for
4558 shekels
For 455058 shekels you get door-to-door service from anywhere in Jerusalem to the airport. My friend said he had a hard time finding Nesher’s phone number online so I thought I’d post them. Make sure to call a day or two before to reserve a spot. Here’s a Nesher-specific “Did you know”. Did you know that they don’t have Nesher in Tel Aviv? I mean, I guess it makes sense since it’s so close to the airport but… how do they survive?
Phone numbers: 02-623-1231, 02-625-7227 - Iced Coffee for 5 shekels
Personally, I like the smooth iced coffee without the icy chunks. But the Iced Coffee from Marzipan in the shuk is so cheap that I just wait for it to melt.
Where: The Legendary Marzipan bakery is on Agrippas St. but you probably already knew that and just got up to check the fridge to see if you have any rugalech left over. - Autenti clothes 20-50 shekels.
Autenti sells hippie-ish clothes between 20 and 50 shekels and usually have cute skirts.
Where: Stores on Yaffo St. and Agrippas St. - 30 pitas for 10 shekels
Stop by the shuk at night around 8-9:30 as it’s closing to find good deals on pita and other stuff they’re trying to get rid of.
Where: Try on Yaffo St by the entrance.
Runner-ups
- Stove Lighters for 5 shekels from the dollar store. Obviously the conversion rate of the dollar needs a little update.
- Duvsheinit Challah for 6 shekels from the shuk
Soup Festival at the David Citadel for 48 shekels. The all-you-can-eat soup is from 10am to 11pm every day until the end of March for 48 Shekels. They also have wireless internet, so you can pretty much just move in and set up your office right next to the soup buffet.
These deals are updated as of January 18, 2012, so they are likely to change due to inflation. No guarantees.
Funny falafel sign on Ben Yehuda St.
You may have seen this sign in a felafel store on Ben Yehuda St. in downtown Jerusalem. But if not, it’s pretty amusing. And I especially like the apostrophe in the word “buy’s”. I’m still trying to figure out what it could mean.
Is the cost of living in Israel going up?
Every time I go to the supermarket (usually Super Sol Deal) and nervously approach the soymilk, unsure of how much it will cost, it turns out that sure enough the price is higher than the previous week. Same with cheese, charif, teas, wine, and I’m sure plenty of other stuff. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, you can even spot a higher sticker price slapped on over the previous one, the cheaper one sticking out just enough to taunt you and say haha. My salary isn’t tied to the escalating price of soy milk and tea and I have a feeling that other people’s aren’t either- so how do people afford to feed their families?
I really don’t know much about how the economy works, but my own logic would say that since the dollar is so low (~3.7) , prices would stay the same since people are getting less for their dollar and our economy is pretty strong. Recently however, I heard it explained so eloquently, “In Israel, the prices go up in a good economy and the prices go up in a bad economy. ” So true.
Let’s go back to discussing Super Sol or shall I say ShuferSal, which is how it’s spelled on their website and sounds quite ridiculous. It turns out that SuperSol Deal has been fined for ‘price gouging’ or manipulating and cheating their customers. Continue reading this entry »
Nir Barkat and the Soup Festival
Last week, we attend the Jerusalem Business Networking Forum’s evening with Nir Barkat, who is running for mayor of Jerusalem.
http://www.meetup.com/swf/membership_badge.swf?chapterid=807042
We wanted to see, if elected, would he take care of the most pressing issues in Jerusalem:
- get rid of the ridiculous TV tax
- install a ticket machine at the Central Bus Station that assigns seats for inter-city travel
- teach city office workers to be pleasant, polite and helpful
Although he didn’t give a direct answer, he did talk about bringing 10 million tourists here over the next few years and mentioned a website he started called gojerusalem for finding out about what’s going on in Jerusalem.
This is how I found out about the soup festival which I plan on attending. I don’t know if I would actually call it a “festival” but rather a good deal on soup that gives you entrance into the fancy David Citadel Hotel. But I guess that title wouldn’t be as catchy.
If you need me, I’ll be in the David Citadel from 10am-11pm packing in the all-you-can-eat soup for 48 shekels.
My favorite parking spot in Israel: the half-curb
Here is a photo of my favorite parking space. I didn’t know I would ever have a favorite parking spot until I saw this one. I present to you Jerusalem’s official (painted lines and all) half on the sidewalk/ half off the sidewalk parking spot. In the background of the picture you can even see a car parked on a slant.
The Big Felafel 