Another Lesson Learned: Just be a Crybaby
When you are an American attempting to live in Israel life can feel like a smashed banana. It is a feeling of knowing that 
something beautifully bright and ripe can turn into a mushy dark shriveled mess. And that is exactly how I feel when I lose a battle in Israel.These battles that new immigrants are sometimes forced to learn become vital lessons for survival in Israel. I would like to share my lesson with you in hopes that you can gain something from my horrible experience, without having to actually experience it.
Lesson 239: Don’t be a Tough Guy…Just be a Cry Baby
My parents taught me to always stand up for myself. However, it is difficult to keep that goal in Israel. Whether it is at the municipality, tax authority, social services or at the bank, it seems like everyone is out to screw me.
Case in point is my most recent battle with Bank Leumi. In November my improv group performed for a Jewish Agency Internship group. We were told we would be paid as long as we provided an invoice to the sponsor of the night’s event, Bank Leumi. We gave the invoice to the Jewish Agency before the show and they informed us it would be passed along to Bank Leumi and we should be paid two weeks after the show.
Of course you and I both know that two weeks came and went and we were not paid. After another two weeks I was in contact with the Jewish Agency to check up on our payment. And that is when I went from ripe banana to black mush.
I was bounced back and forth between the Jewish Agency, Bank Leumi and our bank, Discount, for the next two months. First the Jewish Agency said we still needed an accountant number and then Bank Leumi told us that we needed another document. When we would go to Bank Discount they insisted we had already given the proper information and it was ridiculous for Bank Leumi (or any client) to insist for more info in order to pay us. Continue reading this entry »
Jerusalem supermarket price wars target caffeine-addicted, chicken-lovin’, messy babies
I am no official Hebrew translator, but I do believe Ynet is telling me there is a massive price war happening between the Talpiot supermarkets Mega and Rami Levi. It was probably my post about ridiculous supermarket prices that really got things moving. Ha!
The price wars are centered around the price of chicken, which is at an all time low at Rami Levi for 89 agurot a kilo (if you spend over 200 shekels). At Mega, it’s now 99 agurot a kilo ( if you spend over 150 shekels).
I went to Mega firsthand tonight to see for myself. There was in fact 99 agurot a kilo chicken as well as hour long lines to take any joy and fun away. It was also Tuesday, Mega’s shuk night where fruit and veggies are very cheap.
I’m still trying to figure out what all the items featured in the price war have in common, but I can’t exactly put my finger on it. The items are
- Chicken: 89 agurot/kilo at Rami Levi; 99 agurot/kilo at Mega
- Elite Coffee: 9.99 NIS at Mega
- Pampers Diapers – 33.90 NIS at Rami Levi, 39.99 NIS atMega
- Colon Clothing Detergent – 34.99 NIS at Mega
- CocaCola 6 bottles – 19.99 NIS at Mega
- Soft Toilet Paper 32 rolls – 19.99 NIS at Mega
I guess they figure there must be a lot of caffeine-addicted, chicken-lovin’ messy babies crawling around out there. Anyone got any better ideas?Mega has declared that it wants the Mega in Talpiot to be the cheapest in Israel. Truly amazing. I wonder if people will come in all the way from Haifa…
Thanks for the tip, Ari.
Update Feb 15: Rami Levy ain’t chickening out, and at 0.79 per kilo, everyone’s fleeing
Free Rice – addictive, davka
I recently discovered the website FreeRice.com and it takes me back to my studying-for-the-SAT days. Weeee! FreeRice.com is a very simple concept – for every vocab question you get right, they donate rice to Africa, thanks to the advertisers.
I never thought it would happen to me, but it seems I’ve become like other anglos in Israel who can’t seem to keep their languages separate. I’m starting to notice that I’m slowly losing my vocabulary and every once in a while words like davka, matim, and lahefech creep into my conversations without even noticing.
Sometimes I even click my tongue to say no. No, Gd forbid I should ever start doing that. But I don’t think Free Rice could help much with that anyway…
I am so happy I found this site as a way to refresh my vocab. And how cool to know that by improving my vocab, I’m donating rice. Who thinks of these things? Genius.
Are you a member of this Facebook group?
If you thought that Facebook was just a website for your random friends and photo albums, then you are sorely mistaken. If you have ever joined a Facebook group then you know that there are a lot of strange and wonderful things happening in cyberspace.Perhaps you have an interest in toes, well don’t worry because there are over 500 groups that are willing and ready to accept you and your foot fetish. There are just as many groups for cookie monster lovers too. And somewhere in between all that you can find a new group urging Sderot residents to learn how to build kassams.
It might sound random but for many this group is a desperate last resort to end the barrage of kassams. I think it is time to admit that if we wait for the government’s response we will all be as bald as Olmert before there is any retaliation. Therefore it is left up to the citizens to end the rocket fire.
There are many ways to try to get your message out there. Continue reading this entry »
Where the @#$*& is my bus? Using the online Egged bus schedule
If you want to find me in Jerusalem, I’m probably the tall girl running, arms flailing, out of breath, trying to catch the number 18 bus. Either that, or I’m drooling at the bus stop in what seems like eternity waiting for the bus to come.
Luckily, my friend showed me how to navigate the tricky Egged site and read the online Egged bus schedule.
Here’s how: Continue reading this entry »
On the Border of Peace
I can’t believe it but we are finally on the road to peace. It seems that the disgruntled Palestinians in Gaza have decided to help out the peace process by crossing over the border to Egypt.What does this tell me? The Palestinians are looking for an answer to the current situation. While Bush, Olmert and Abbas try to figure out the refugee problem, the Palestinians are showing us how to solve it. The Palestinians looked for help from their Arab brothers in Egypt and found refuge. The Egyptians said they will keep the border open as long as the “humanitarian crisis” continues in Gaza.
I think the other Arab countries need to take Egypt’s example and open their doors as well. Let’s fix this mess once and for all. The Palestinians live in squalor with or without electricity and gas. They do not need aid from the Arab world; they need the Arab world to welcome them into their countries.
And so it is that this whole disaster is truly a blessing in disguise for the peace process. Israel has forced the Arab world to take action. We are steps away from a “real peace”. Once the Palestinians can move out of Gaza it will obviously stop the rocket fire and destroy Hamas’ Power- since there would be no one to govern.
The UN, EU and USA can throw a little money at the situation to help the Palestinians get started in their new lives and everyone can live in quiet. Isn’t that the ideal?
Sushi take-over of Jerusalem
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Just a few weeks ago, it was very difficult to come across sushi in Jerusalem, especially kosher sushi. Apparently, not anymore. It’s as if someone heard me wanting sushi and I got my wish – but did they take it too far? These sushi restaurants are starting to pop up in every Jerusalem neighborhood, including taking over what used to be a cute little cafe called Faza in the Katamon/Palmach neighborhood. I loved Faza – with their TV entertainment system in the bathroom and wireless internet. 😦 But I also like sushi. What to do.
Here’s the list of kosher sushi restaurants in Jerusalem I’ve come across. You can find more details and coupons at Eluna and rest.co.il. In case you’re too cold to leave your house, I’ve included the phone numbers since most of them offer delivery. I put them in order of the ones I want to try out. Continue reading this entry »
Bloggers Beware- The Government Doesn’t Like Your Negativity
If reading the news gives you stomach indigestion- then welcome to my world. Reading headlines that are blatantly anti-Israel is one thing, but I haven’t even seen articles on the other side, and that has made me nauseous. Where have all the protesters gone? Where are the investigative journalists with their breaking news stories about corrupt politicians and dirty government games? Does anyone out there have an opinion and want to voice it?
I think I found an answer to my questions in The Jerusalem Post’s columnist Caroline Glick’s latest editorial, Our World: How Olmert defies gravity. Not only does she explain the government’s leash on the media but she goes into detail about the left wing media’s grip on the press. Just to get an understanding of what we are dealing with here, read below (make sure to have a barf bag near by): Continue reading this entry »
Take Out the Trash
The trash cans are overflowing and the stench, overwhelming. The streets are littered with remnants of dinner from last week, stacked ten feet high, and there is no waste worker in sight to clean up this mess. While this could very well be the scene of another trash workers’ strike in Israel it’s actually the case for Naples, Italy.
You thought we had it bad when the waste workers go on strike; try living in Naples right now where the trash has piled to over 1,500 tons. This is no strike but rather the results of a dispute over a ten year old trashy problem. About eleven years ago the city closed down a waste dump but now the government wants to reopen it. The citizens are furious and have taken to the streets, protesting and refusing the dump to be resurrected. Continue reading this entry »
Sderot to Egypt: Sue You! That’s Our Rocket and it Comes With A Bang!
When I was growing up in LA we lived life a little differently then the rest of the world. For example, if someone made fun of me and I gave them a taste of their own medicine, the final outcome would be, “so sue me.” We learned early on that suing someone was the best form of attack and could really do the most damage.Now that I live in Israel it seems that Israelis have finally learned the art form of suing. The critical goal of suing someone is to “stick it to them.” When you sue someone you are sending a message to the other side that you are done being Mr. Nice-guy and want to fight dirty- even dirtier than guerilla warfare, you want to fight and bring your lawyers. Continue reading this entry »
The Big Felafel 