The Big Felafel


A Green Light for ‘Ramzor’- A Must Watch Sitcom and Ulpan!

With Srugim winding down its super depressing season (writers, what the hell happened, not only do I feel sick when I watch the show, I don’t want to be friends with any of them, being religious looks like the worse life decision anyone could make- marriage seems like a death trap- and still not a single Anglo character), I have found a new show to love and one that makes me laugh.

Ramzor (Traffic Light), an Israeli sitcom, focuses around three 30-something male characters living in Giv’atayim (near Tel Aviv). While I enjoy the characters, a family man, the ‘living-together’ guy and the bachelor who is a bachelor all the way, it turns out that according to Wikipedia each relationship represents a color of the traffic light, hence the sitcom’s name. The family man, Itzko, is the red light since he is married with a seven-year-old daughter. Amir, the ‘live-together’ guy is the yellow light because he lives with his girlfriend, and of course that leaves the bachelor, Hefer to be the green light because he has no partner and is free to go. However you put it, the show is damn funny and a great ulpan tool for those of us that want to embrace Israeli culture and slang.

The shows are a smart funny and very similar to the current hit in America, ‘Modern Family’. The stories revolve around humorous concepts like an old woman taking over a swimming lane, the friend that only calls you when he walks his dog, getting a housekeeper who ends up making you work for your money and a dog therapist. The characters are all kooky. I personally enjoy Amir (that’s the live-together guy) the most, who is a private show choreographer. Basically he goes to companies and teaches their workers a dance which is themed around their type of work. He deals with the strangest people and yet loves his job and makes the musical numbers work! He alone is worth watching for a half-hour. There is also Itzko’s wife, Lilach, who oddly enough is also the wife on Srugim, yet plays a completely different character on this show. Here she is a self-absorbed journalist who always has the phone by her ear and is ready for her Pulitzer. Her relationship, if you want to call it that, with her husband is more like a great bickering match and makes for good TV. Hefer gives the show its dirtier moments and thus the sitcom has a little something for everyone.

Actor Adir Miller, who plays Amir the ‘live-together’ guy is also the show’s creator and can now add businessman to that list since selling the show to Fox in America. The US version will be written by Bob Fisher who was the executive story editor for “Married with Children.” The series is set to start this Fall.

Check out Free episodes online


Satire video on flotilla best PR Israel has ever done

The Israeli government “accidentally” let a satirical video of the Flotilla “slip” out to journalists recently.  Like other viral campaigns that have “accidentally” slipped out, they tend to the be the biggest successes, and the YouTube video already reached 1.2 million views and is growing. Finally, Israel has put together an English video that gets its message out in the most effective and entertaining way possible. Well done.

Flotilla Choir presents: We Con the World

Flotilla. Where did this word come from anyway? And why is it so awkward to pronounce? Does it rhyme with a Mexican tortilla? Luckily, I found out how you can show your support for Israel’s elite navy unit without having to say the word flotilla. There is a facebook page where you can order a free bumper sticker that says: “We are all unit 13” in Hebrew. Unit 13 refers to the elite Israel navy unit that intercepted the flotilla.

The site and the form are in Hebrew, so here’s what it asks for:

  • First Name
  • Last Name
  • Email
  • Cellphone #
  • Street
  • City
  • Zip Code
  • If you want updates by email or SMS
  • Comments

Learn Hebrew with jokes

If you’re working on your Hebrew and need a break from Sha’ar Lematchil, the easy Hebrew newspaper, you can check out Jacob Richman’s Hebrew Jokes site. Most of the jokes are pretty corny, but there are a few surprising ones, like the joke above.

Translation:

What do air conditioning and computers have in common?

They both work slower when you open windows or Windows (depending on how much Microsoft-related issues you’ve been having lately)

Enjoy!


Israeli cooks giant falafel for NY Parade

Thanks to @davidzstein for alerting me to the most important news of the century!

According to the Jpost:

In honor of the annual New York ‘Salute to Israel Parade’ on Sunday May 23, an Israeli chef cooked a 30 lb (13.5 kg) falafel ball, setting a world record.

Former Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau and an engineer certified the ball of chickpeas and spices for the Guinness Book of World Records. The ball was cooked in over 40 l. of water, and has a circumference of over a meter.

It seemed only appropriate that we report on a giant felafel here on The Big Felafel.


It’s Time for funny!

It’s happening again! My beloved comedy troupe, Hahaפuch, is once again bringing the funny and cheap alcohol to Jerusalem. What exactly can you expect: improv, comedy sketches about Israeli life, videos and our special fake news segment. Add to that our musical guest Shira Pruce and Orit Golan and special immigrant guest, as well as Paul Hyams of Bisbari catering who will bring free food with him!

Doors open at 7:30pm so make sure to get there for the cheap stuff and free stuff and grab a good seat. We sold out our last two shows so it’s best to call the box office at 052-603-9115 to reserve tickets. Check out the event on our Facebook group page. And check out our Hummus in a bag video from our February show.
HaHaפuch Comedy Variety Show:
May 13, 2010
Doors open at 7:30pm
The Merkaz Hamagshimim Theater, 7a Dor DorVeDorshav, German Colony, Jerusalem, Israel, the world
NIS 30: Students and soldiers
NIS 35: regular ticket


Beautiful Northern Israel: Ein Hod, Nir Etzion, and Zichron Yaakov

Like I always say when we leave Jerusalem — I love leaving and I love coming back. Living in Jerusalem, for the most part is wonderful with the ancient stones and the Jewish flavor. But at times, I’ve seen one too many ancient ruins and I’m ready to see some  greenery and breathtaking views. So we went north. I thought about renting a car, but opted for the 2 hour bus ride instead so we could sit back and relax.  Here’s how to use the Egged online bus schedule if you need it. For those who are members of the “I love driving” team, of which I am not, here’s a list of rental car websites in Israel:

Once we arrived in Haifa, we took a short 15 minute bus ride from Haifa to our hotel in Nir Etzion. We stayed in Nir Etzion for a few reasons – it was kosher, it was a good location smack dab between Haifa and Zichron Yaakov and because we had purchased a “deal” from Chufsha Chalomit (Dream Vacation) where you get 3 nights, 4 days (weekdays only) at one of the listed hotels for half price. You also need to pay a separate sum of money for the deal. So in the end, the “frayer (sucker) deal” only saved us a few hundred shekels, but it did get us out of the house and up north.

googlemaps

Nir Etzion

niretzion

Nir Etzion is a religious Yishuv and feels very much like a kibbutz, with a cow shed and mini zoo (I hesitate to say petting zoo due to the monkeys, anteaters, eagles and other animals I’m not sure I’d like to pet). We were upgraded to a garden room which was like a tzimmer – a ground floor room that looked like our own little cottage. We considered going swimming and asked when the pool is open. They gave us a time sheet with separate men and women’s hours. I whispered to the concierge, feeling naughty, are there mixed swimming times for me and my husband? Yes, of course, we just don’t tell people unless they ask. Scandalous!

But most of all, I looked forward to the all you can eat Israeli breakfast. And Nir Etzion did not disappoint. Breakfast was delicious by the heapfuls, complete with pancakes, 20 different kinds of cheese, croissants, coffee machines, omelettes, and shakshuka to your heart’s desire.

Ein Hod

einhod2

After we made our bellies happy, we waddled down the road from Nir Etzion to the wonderful Ein Hod artist village tucked away like a well-kept secret. In Ein Hod, you can take an official tour of the village and get access to all the artist’s galleries and participate in pottery and tshirt silkscreening. However, the tour was a little pricey for just the 2 of us (~200 shekels) so we decided to give ourselves a tour and meet artists on our own. We wandered in an out of the winding streets, enjoying the beautiful flowers, sculptures and views and occasionally stumbling across an artist’s gallery.

We met second generation artists who had preserved their father’s easel setup, complete with paints, brushes, and chair. A little creepy if you ask me since it looked like it was set for him to return any second, but very authentic. We met bronze sculptors who told us about their upcoming exhibitions and showed us bulls made out of bronze. And, when we couldn’t get access to the artists themselves, we made sure to peek into their studios at every chance. There was one studio with a broken window, so of course I carefully slipped my hand and camera inside and took this amazing shot of a glassblower’s studio:

einhod

The streets were so windy and roundabout, that any time we’d see a sign, we’d follow it until we got to the destination. It didn’t matter much what the sign said, but we knew if we followed it for long enough, we’d eventually end up somewhere. So, one of the signs we followed was to a pottery workshop. Having seen this on the website, I thought it would be fun to make a mug, paint it and take it home. Unfortunately, when we arrived, we were greeted by native English speakers who told us that the workshop is just to make the pottery but you have to leave it there. So you have to pay 40 shekel or so, make pottery, and then leave it. Forget it. So we turned around to start following the signs back to the Ein Hod entrance when the pottery lady told me that there was a small English bookshop next door. I perked up and we frolicked, or at least I did, to the bookshop. Well, I think it may win the award for smallest bookshop ever. It did have a few good books, but in the end I left empty handed.

Unfortunately, Ein Hod, as tourist-friendly as it is, didn’t exactly cater to kosher tourists — there was not a single kosher eatery to be found among the restaurants and coffee shops.  Luckily, we had stuffed rolls, yogurts, and pastries in our pockets before leaving the hotel. But if stuffing gooey items in your pocket is not your style, Nir Etzion has a food packaging company where you can get take away.

Zichron Yaakov

zichron

15 minutes south of Nir Etzion is Zichron Yaakov, a beautiful, quaint town with a cute-as-a-button midrachov (main pedestrian mall), wineries, and vineyards. And also apparently a Ner-o-mat:  yahrtzeit candle vending machines (what?!)

vending

We also took a tour of the Carmel WInery, one of the largest wineries in Israel. I called ahead of time to make reservations to join up with a group tour since we were only 2 people. However, when we arrived, no one else showed up so we had a private tour! We learned so much about how the winery started and what the differences are between wines, and of course got to do a fabulous taste testing. Did you know that red wine can be made from green or purple grapes or both and same for white wine! It’s all just a matter of how long the skin stays on (and a lot more I’m sure, but that’s what I understood).

All in all,  a wonderful trip!

What’s your off the beaten path Israel travel recommendation? I’d love to get some ideas for our next trip.


The Holy Crap! Scandal

Fresh off the press former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert is corrupt… This can’t really be news. I mean I’ve known he was corrupt ever since he tried to hide his bald head with that ridiculous comb over. I said, “You can’t hide your comb over and you can’t hide the truth.” And here we are several years later suddenly (please read with a very sarcastic tone) breaking the news that the man is involved in a series of building scandals during his term as mayor of Jerusalem. Come on!!

First off, it is practically a national law to bribe municipality workers. I would do it if I had money to do it with. But that’s why young couples and students’ demands end up getting ignored by the city. Sure we want affordable housing, but we simply can’t afford to pay off the municipality workers who can make that happen. In fact, current Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat once gave a speech to a crowd of new immigrants expressing his shock when a young entrepreneur had his business shut down because he had not known to bribe the municipality workers. Bribing and power trips are old news.

What is shocking is to read about the other former mayor’s role in the scandal, Uri Lupolianski. I guess it still surprises me to see a super religious Jew fall so far from his holy teachings. Worse, Lupolianski allegedly laundered the money through million dollar donations to Yad Sarah, a charity for disabled and elderly people, which he founded in 1976. Is this a modern-religious man’s version of Robin Hood or did he end up pocketing the money and having hair treatments and spa time with Olmert? Time will only tell, since these men are obviously too corrupt to tell the truth.

But for those of us that live in Jerusalem and deal with the daily and disruptive construction (destruction), I think we knew awhile ago that something shady was going down. Or maybe it was just little-cynical-me. It just seemed like the expensive high-rises went up too fast but the pot holes on the streets never seemed to get fixed. In fact, the Holy Land Scandal is predicted to be just the first in a list of scandals. According to investigators the Mamilla mall, YMCA, Cinema City Project and Gilo Uptown project may all be linked to dirty hands.

While I may not be an official city investigator (who may also be accepting bribes by the above mentioned people), I have my own predictions about Jerusalem scandals. Mainly I believe that Project Light Rail is as dirty as they come- and it’s not from all the digging…The project was also initiated during Olmert’s term and continued on in Lupolianski’s reign. Mayor Barkat even stated that the train was ‘built in sin’. The project never seems to end. For years they have ripped the city streets a part causing painful traffic so that they can build a train that goes from one suburb to another. The rails are not convenient for the average traveler and probably won’t make traveling easier or faster. But will make it more expensive. Between Egged’s monopoly on bus transportation and the evil train, most of us end up walking or paying for a cab (that gets stuck in traffic). You can try the bike route, but since the city never made special bike lines then your simple ride into the city is more like a death march. I’ve done it plenty of times and every time I get off the bike I want to kiss the ground.

So when you read the news about the dirty evil sinful stupid light rail train scandal just know that The Big Felafel broke the story first! As for the other news, there’s nothing new about it.


I heart NIS 5 Ice Coffee- But here’s why

It’s almost summer, but if you’re like me then you’ve been drinking ice coffee (also known as ice cafe or froozen coffee) all year round. However, with the heat about to go up a couple of notches, the ice coffee craze will also make waves of its own.

If you get addicted or simply can’t afford the amounts of delicious goodness you are consuming then let me help you out. If you’re an avid reader of the blog (which clearly every person that reads our blog is) then you’ve heard this spiel before, but now there’s more!

Marzipan, a bakery known for its gooey rugelach has been selling ice coffee for NIS 5 for the past three years. Every summer I worry that they will raise their prices, but I am happy to say that’s never the case. In fact these are some of the smartest Israeli business people I have ever known. Without any advertising and just word of mouth, they have managed to expand their shuk operation to a bigger store and open up a shop just off of Emek Refaim. And now the smartness (is that a word, ironic) continues with the expansion of their ice coffee treat.

Instead of just one ice coffee machine, they’ve now taken over the adjacent stall and opened up a row of machines featuring different flavors from banana (not a fan) to lemon-nana to sweet vanilla. You can even combine the flavors and each cup is filled to the very top. This is about as close to a slurpee that we will ever get to! I’ll have to stop writing this now since the mere thought demands that I go out and purchase yet another treaty-treat of ice coffee!

Marzipan I thank you for your continued support in my ice coffee addiction. You’ve allowed me to continue purchasing my favorite drink at a consistent low price and, forced other vendors to lower their ice coffee prices as well. But have no fear my loyalty is to you. I promise I will always drink your ice coffee and sometimes vanilla and a few times lemon-nana and continue to spread the word about your smart business ethics and amazing deal. I only ask that you have the same low price at your Emek Refaim shop where you would no doubt win over the hearts of people forced to pay NIS 18 at the coffee shops throughout the area.

The next sip is on me!


“Olmert said what”- The Eavesdropped Chronicles

In case you missed the big news: former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has once again made the news, and it’s not because he is now too bald for a comb over (you would think that would at least make it to page six).

No, this time it’s about his close aide, Shula Zaken, that eavesdropped on his phone calls during his term as minister of industry, trade and labor (under then Prime Minister Ariel Sharon). How exactly was this plan masterminded? Well when Olmert was on the phone she would touch her ear to indicate to the secretaries to start eavesdropping and taking notes. Or if she couldn’t get her ear touch on she simply drew a circle on her notebook to cue the girls in. Not really creative but it did work.

However while we the public could only imagine the kind of juicy gossip and incriminating information Zaken must have about Olmert (not to mention the other side of the conversations which include Ariel Sharon and Bibi Netanyahu), she claims she can’t remember what the conversations were about. Of course I don’t believe that this info has been lost both in mental notes and the physical ones tucked away in her notebook, I’ve decided to guess what some of the conversations were about.

“Olmer said what”- The Eavesdropped Chronicles as guessed by Molly

  1. Olmert talks about his frustration with his comb over. The hairs are getting fewer and his hairstylist refuses to work with the thinning pieces. He’s pissed and venting his frustration to anyone that will listen.
  2. Olmert talks about his house that he plans to buy for a $1. Like any cheap-Jew he goes on and on about the bargain he’s getting and begs the listener to go with him to the $1 and furnish the house with him.
  3. Olmert plans another trip to the US quoting prices for the same flights in order to scam rich donors out of their money. The conversations sound almost exactly the same but just have different people’s name in it.
  4. Olmert talks to Sharon about becoming the then Prime Minister’s #2 (not the toilet kind) when forming the new party Kadima. They plan their announcement and Olmert suggests that with the new change maybe Sharon should lose a few pounds to really give the makeover of politics a new face. Sharon hangs up in anger. Olmert calls back begging for forgiveness, offering Sharon a back massage once a day for the next year. Sharon giggles but accepts.
  5. Olmert calls his daughter to check if she’s still a lesbian. She is and he asks if they are still on for their girls’ night marathon watching L-word.
  6. Olmert buys a toupee.
  7. Olmert buys another toupee.
  8. Olmert calls Sharon to ask him to come over and look at his toupees.
  9. Olmert and Sharon fight about his ugly toupees.
  10. Olmert calls his hairstylist.

 

What did I miss? Tell me what other conversations should be on this list. If Zaken can’t remember then it is our job to jog her memory.


The Big Felafel’s Guide to Passover Entertainment and Activities in Israel 2010

Lots of exciting Pre-Pesach and Pesach activities in Israel this year from art fairs to hippie festivals!  If you have more to add, please leave a comment below.

Dancing Camel Pre-Pesach Giant Keg Party
March 25, 2010

Known for their creative beer flavors like Cherry Vanilla Stout and clever beer names like Goliath and Beelzebub, Dancing Camel is hosting a pre-Pesach Party with one entrance fee that lets you taste all the beers to your heart (liver?)’s content.

Doors Open at 20:00 Sharp!
Cost: 75 NIS enter, Reserve your tickets in advance  click here to order tickets
Location: Hataasiya 12 (corner Hamasger) Tel Aviv. Tel: 03-624-2783

Osim Seder: A unique pre-Pesach crafts fair
March 26, 2010

Pesach crafts fair shopping extravaganza including recycled lamps, jewelry and fashion accessories, candlesticks, plants, kitchen and house items. There will also be huge second hand clothing swap! Feel free to bring your clothes to swap.

Location: Merkaz Hamagshimim Hadassah Beit Ar-El, 8 Gad St, Baka, Jerusalem.
10am-1pm
Free Entrance.
For more information Deena 02-6722405*114www.themerkaz.org

Stage One- Amateur English Theater Festival
March 31 to April 2 2010

This Passover, Beit Avi Chai in collaboration with Merkaz Hamagshimim Hadassah will spotlight the finest English-language drama, music, comedy, opera, and more that Jerusalem has to offer.

If you can only make it to one event, make sure to come to Hahafuch’s hilarious improv comedy show on April 1, 2010 at 9pm!
More info

Bezalel Street Arts and Crafts Fair
March 31 – April 2, 2010

Artists show off their crafts, jewelry, photography and more at this funky street festival.

10am to 3pm
Shatz St., downtown Jerusalem
Free Entrance

Ahava Festival at the Dead Sea
April 1, 2010, April 3, 2010

The annual Dead Sea festival featuring big name Israeli singers such as Natasha and friends, Barry Sakharof, Ivri Lider, and more.
More info

Zorba Buddha Festival in the Negev
April 1 – 4, 2010

This is an hippie-esque festival where you camp out and can partake in meditation and spirituality workshops, yoga, dance and theater workshops, djs, and performances by Mercedez Bend, Avraham Tal, and more.

Cost: 319 NIS
More info

Boombamela Festival at Nitzanim Beach
April 1-3, 2010

Celebrating its 12th year, Booombamela is another camp-out,  hippie-type festival with big name music performers such as Geva Alon, Hatikva 6, and more.

The festival offers various workshops and entertainment such as street theater, body painting, interactive art, pottery, holistic and meditation workshops, and more.

Cost: 195 NIS
More info

Cherry Blossom Festival in the Golan
March 26 – April 10, 2010

Acitivites for the whole family including: Horse rides, origami workshops, kite building, Japanese makeup, Japanese food and drink.

Free Entrance
More info

Eco Social Awareness Festival: The World is in your Hands, Rishon Letzion
April 1-2, 2010

Festival featuring art and activities to raise awareness about the environment such as Noah’s ark made out of plastic bottles, and more.

Free Entrance
More info

For more fun ideas for Passover activities in Israel

[Matzah Kippah Photo from Flickr: Daniel Greene]